Burn it and bury it in the ground*.
That's the best way I can explain it.
And, really, there's no reason to explain. So I'm not going to.
I tried explaining it to myself, and it's just cyclical. As most things tend to be. A starting point, a large meaty explanation-y middle section, that gets to the end bits that make perfect sense. But, being sure to cover all bases, a "what if/about/why not" and then it goes back to the starting point and it could continue from there. But, it won't. Because we already did that.
So, it's either get off in the middle, or get off at the end.
Getting off in the middle is the best choice in this instance.
There's no point in continuing the circle. It's been done enough times, the same reasons for getting off at the beginning.
I have a feeling, though, that if you keep making that same choice again and again and it keeps getting worse and worse, there's no sense in getting off at the start any more.
It's not worth it. There's literally no point.
It would be a wonderful display of ridiculousness to continue that.
To avoid being ridiculous, any more than is necessary,
The necessary amount has, really, been met. It's been long enough. Time to call it in.
So, for now, it's called in.
Shuttered up and cancelled, as it should have been a while ago.
Maybe, things will continue later. For now, though, it's not. Plain and simple.
#SorryNotSorry
* Which is actually from Jim Gaffigan, but the clip is not on YouTube. However, it is from his Mr. Universe DVD, which you should all just watch anyway.
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Monday, June 6, 2016
The Eternal Debate [or, just do what you wanna do already!]
I am fully aware of how much entertainment I have at my fingertips, in regards to how much I have, both physically and digitally. It amounts to quite a lot more than it should, to be honest.
This should mean that I don't need anything else.
![The Eternal Debate [or, just do what you wanna do already!] | When the question of "what to do" gets to be too much | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3M4ueG61cHdeXlW6lOlnltxDI4YIW-TzK6W14cpDaMnz9aZj8iTXcGpZp6rOSnKWjNezwDK9KWh6PjD_qJ60gMMoeoYc7xFmRWZD7Dkv_Kc3LCjYOHduWzxwX9lxYLba8f02zRxK3Sd8e/s1600/eternaldebate.jpg "The Eternal Debate [or, just do what you wanna do already!] | When the question of \"what to do\" gets to be too much | Anxiously Being Havok")
However, I mistakenly took to Goodreads the other day and added a few books to my to-read list, and to my Amazon wishlist (and almost bought one even, with some Amazon credits that I have, so it wouldn't have been an out of pocket expense - but I halted that crazy train and made no such purchase).
And the new Pokemon series/installment, Sun and Moon, comes out in November, and I'm already, in my mind, buying it when it comes out. Except I'm not, because I don't need it and I don't know anything about it yet hardly. But I know I want it!
Yet, I hardly play the ones that I have (and I have a ton of Pokemon games).
It's hard to tell yourself you can't have those kinds of things any more because you just won't get to them, because it feels limiting. I'm sure you're all familiar with the quotes about a man who reads has lived a thousand lives, etc. Well, technically, the same can be said for RPG video games and the like (I can be the Dragonborn, I can be a Pokemon Master, and I can be a Minecrafter (what even would that be?!), all at the touch of a button or mouse).
Except, it's not saying I can't "live those lives" - it's saying live the lives I already have in my possession.
Actually become the Pokemon Master, instead of just a trainer in many (many) regions. Become the Dragonborn, versus just getting a shout or two. And, well, Minecraft the shit out of Minecraft.
Either way. I have enough at my fingertips, it's just a matter of convincing myself as such - versus wishing for all of the cool, shiny, and new toys that come out.
Plus, eventually, if I don't get anything new, I'll hopefully end up beating all the games, or reading all the books. Then it'll only make sense to get more/replace them/etc.
In all seriousness, though, this all stems from a matter of having too much to choose from. I don't know what game to play, because I know I have neglected them all (because there's too many to choose from, so I choose none of them and do something else). I don't know what to read, because I have neglected all the books, and there's at least one half started book that has sat for far too long and if I went back to it I would have no idea what was going on, so I'd have to start over or pick another book and it's just too many so I'll just look for something else to read...and that's overwhelming so I won't read at all. Or, I'll find one, read a chapter or two, put it down, and not touch it again (again, because too much to choose from so I choose nothing).
It's a vicious, vicious cycle that leads to watching a lot of YouTube, reading a lot of Twitter and Facebook, maybe finding something (for free!) on Hulu (lately I've been watching Dragon Ball and Sailor Moon, even though I've watched both in chunks before), and a whole lot of thinking about what to do.
Which is a horrible waste of time and I don't recommend it to anyone.
My theory is this.
You buy all the things because you like them.
You get them home and then you think wow, this is great.
So you use it or play the game or read the book or whatever. Then you set it down.
Then you do the whole thing again. And again. And again. Until you've got at least one game from the past 4 or 5 Pokemon game releases (I mean, uh, no, I don't have that many...yes I do).
And you realize you have saved games in 4 or 5 Pokemon regions, 4 or 5 uncompleted Pokedexes, and 4 or 5 saves with maybe 1 or 2 badges a piece on them. Which is exactly not how you go about becoming a Pokemon Master, just in case you were wondering.
But you like them all, right? That's why you bought them?
So play one. Or use one. Or read one. Pick it up and just do it. Don't think about it, do it.
And, if going along, you decide that, ya know, you don't really like it after all? Then get rid of it.
Making it one less thing you have to "choose" from, and one less thing taking up space in your house (or on your hard drive).
If you want to read the book you've read 5 times before, do that. Even if you have a book series that you started and got halfway through the first book and left to sit and would have to restart it. That's okay. Read what you want.
If you want to make the same recipe from the same cookbook, even though you know that other cookbook probably has more than enough good recipes in it, cook what you want to cook.
If you want to play Minecraft when you probably should be playing something on the WiiU, because you're sure the WiiU needs an update since you haven't played it in a while and then it would get updated and hey, there's those Skylanders you begged for, but Minecraft sounds better? Play Minecraft.
You got the things to enjoy them, so enjoy them. And if you end up not enjoying something after all? Get rid of it and get that clutter and the decision to spent time and energy on it out of your head.
Because if you don't just do what you actually want to do, you'll find something else - something that will make the decision go away (like trolloping around on YouTube, watching random videos you might be interested in, or scouring Pinterest for a new recipe for Spaghetti, even though it's still just Spaghetti that you're going to be eating).
The decision went away, sure, but you're not actually doing the things you want to be doing. You're avoiding it all because you'll feel bad for neglecting the things you ought to be doing.
It's like procrastination, but of fun. And how the in the hell does that make sense.
Oh wait, it doesn't.
If you need me, I'll be playing Pokemon Alpha Sapphire. I've got some leveling up before I can get my 3rd trainer badge. While trying to forget about Sun and Moon (while also remembering that I technically don't have to decide about it until November).
~ Havok
This should mean that I don't need anything else.
However, I mistakenly took to Goodreads the other day and added a few books to my to-read list, and to my Amazon wishlist (and almost bought one even, with some Amazon credits that I have, so it wouldn't have been an out of pocket expense - but I halted that crazy train and made no such purchase).
And the new Pokemon series/installment, Sun and Moon, comes out in November, and I'm already, in my mind, buying it when it comes out. Except I'm not, because I don't need it and I don't know anything about it yet hardly. But I know I want it!
Yet, I hardly play the ones that I have (and I have a ton of Pokemon games).
It's hard to tell yourself you can't have those kinds of things any more because you just won't get to them, because it feels limiting. I'm sure you're all familiar with the quotes about a man who reads has lived a thousand lives, etc. Well, technically, the same can be said for RPG video games and the like (I can be the Dragonborn, I can be a Pokemon Master, and I can be a Minecrafter (what even would that be?!), all at the touch of a button or mouse).
Except, it's not saying I can't "live those lives" - it's saying live the lives I already have in my possession.
Actually become the Pokemon Master, instead of just a trainer in many (many) regions. Become the Dragonborn, versus just getting a shout or two. And, well, Minecraft the shit out of Minecraft.
Either way. I have enough at my fingertips, it's just a matter of convincing myself as such - versus wishing for all of the cool, shiny, and new toys that come out.
Plus, eventually, if I don't get anything new, I'll hopefully end up beating all the games, or reading all the books. Then it'll only make sense to get more/replace them/etc.
In all seriousness, though, this all stems from a matter of having too much to choose from. I don't know what game to play, because I know I have neglected them all (because there's too many to choose from, so I choose none of them and do something else). I don't know what to read, because I have neglected all the books, and there's at least one half started book that has sat for far too long and if I went back to it I would have no idea what was going on, so I'd have to start over or pick another book and it's just too many so I'll just look for something else to read...and that's overwhelming so I won't read at all. Or, I'll find one, read a chapter or two, put it down, and not touch it again (again, because too much to choose from so I choose nothing).
It's a vicious, vicious cycle that leads to watching a lot of YouTube, reading a lot of Twitter and Facebook, maybe finding something (for free!) on Hulu (lately I've been watching Dragon Ball and Sailor Moon, even though I've watched both in chunks before), and a whole lot of thinking about what to do.
Which is a horrible waste of time and I don't recommend it to anyone.
My theory is this.
You buy all the things because you like them.
You get them home and then you think wow, this is great.
So you use it or play the game or read the book or whatever. Then you set it down.
Then you do the whole thing again. And again. And again. Until you've got at least one game from the past 4 or 5 Pokemon game releases (I mean, uh, no, I don't have that many...yes I do).
And you realize you have saved games in 4 or 5 Pokemon regions, 4 or 5 uncompleted Pokedexes, and 4 or 5 saves with maybe 1 or 2 badges a piece on them. Which is exactly not how you go about becoming a Pokemon Master, just in case you were wondering.
But you like them all, right? That's why you bought them?
So play one. Or use one. Or read one. Pick it up and just do it. Don't think about it, do it.
And, if going along, you decide that, ya know, you don't really like it after all? Then get rid of it.
Making it one less thing you have to "choose" from, and one less thing taking up space in your house (or on your hard drive).
If you want to read the book you've read 5 times before, do that. Even if you have a book series that you started and got halfway through the first book and left to sit and would have to restart it. That's okay. Read what you want.
If you want to make the same recipe from the same cookbook, even though you know that other cookbook probably has more than enough good recipes in it, cook what you want to cook.
If you want to play Minecraft when you probably should be playing something on the WiiU, because you're sure the WiiU needs an update since you haven't played it in a while and then it would get updated and hey, there's those Skylanders you begged for, but Minecraft sounds better? Play Minecraft.
You got the things to enjoy them, so enjoy them. And if you end up not enjoying something after all? Get rid of it and get that clutter and the decision to spent time and energy on it out of your head.
Because if you don't just do what you actually want to do, you'll find something else - something that will make the decision go away (like trolloping around on YouTube, watching random videos you might be interested in, or scouring Pinterest for a new recipe for Spaghetti, even though it's still just Spaghetti that you're going to be eating).
The decision went away, sure, but you're not actually doing the things you want to be doing. You're avoiding it all because you'll feel bad for neglecting the things you ought to be doing.
It's like procrastination, but of fun. And how the in the hell does that make sense.
Oh wait, it doesn't.
If you need me, I'll be playing Pokemon Alpha Sapphire. I've got some leveling up before I can get my 3rd trainer badge. While trying to forget about Sun and Moon (while also remembering that I technically don't have to decide about it until November).
~ Havok
If you liked this post, be sure and check out these other posts!
Friday, June 3, 2016
What We've Eaten - A Meal Plan in Reverse [No. 5}
Technically, this is number 4, however we skipped April, so I'm calling it number 5. And we skipped April because the Mister was on vacation for two weeks and there were far too many days that we had chips for dinner.
May, however, was a good cooking month. We ate out one night with family that we drove up to see, ordered pizza once, and got fast food once. And, for us, that's pretty darn good. I'm hoping, though, that in June those numbers will all be at a big fat zero. Not that I necessarily enjoy cooking every.single.day but I'd rather do that than the alternative.
![What We've Eaten - A Meal Plan in Reverse [No. 5] | What we ate for the month of May | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzWf5aNBIsLUkkJNf89jYL_41VlSz4ggysanu-3DQngkV1efBsEuekXkSK5ddT0xGmwal8o0mCJN33ptMJkXICZtkVuBAjW8mGq0IURlRYc3lhECzQHku-QGEDi2raLTxNLo6JuZ7U7cDT/s1600/reversemealplanstock.jpg "What We've Eaten - A Meal Plan in Reverse [No. 5] | What we ate for the month of May | Anxiously Being Havok")
So, onto the eats. As normal, it's nothing super exciting, but May did lend itself to learning quite a few new tricks in the kitchen!
From the beginning, with meals being grouped by week (Mondays-Sundays)
Macaroni and cheese - I have something to admit here. I buy the boxed stuff. Not Kraft, though, but the Kroger brand. I bought it a while ago, in the hopes it would be comparable because it was much cheaper, and it tastes pretty much the same. The noodles have much more starch to them, but once it's all cooked ready to eat, the taste is the same. I've tried generic mac and cheese before and never liked it, so to even try this was an adventure for me!
Quesadillas - in the oven! With cooked ground turkey inside! This was one of those "ZOMG HOW DID I NOT KNOW" meals. I'm still trying to figure out a good dip or sauce for these, because they are a tad plain, but I'm not sure what that would be.
Chili/Cheese/Tator Tot Bake - easy peasy kind of meal.
Mexican Rice Burritos - we love this recipe. I don't love buying Rotel for it each time we eat it, though, because it's 1$ a can, so I think I will switch to tomato something-or-other instead and continue with enchilada sauce (because that goes farther than one meal).
Corn Dogs - picked these up on sale in April and they're just good to keep around.
Nachos - the almighty nacho dinner. Ah. Remind me sometime to tell you about the vat of nacho sauce we used to buy (read: used to buy).
Chinese Food with the in-laws - we went up to see the Mister's parents for Mother's day, spent the better part of the afternoon assembling patio furniture, and then we all went out to a Chinese food restaurant for dinner. Totally worth the hours of sweat and heat put into the furniture!
Leftover Chinese - has anyone ever not had leftovers from Chinese food?
Hashbrown/Bacon/Scrambled Egg Bowls - bacon was on sale, I had half a bag of potatoes left, and I had eggs. I figured it'd be worth a shot. And let's just say it was a good one. Hashbrowns, however, take forever to cook, but I did know to cut the bacon into pieces and then cook it, so I'm calling it a draw.
Grilled Cheese - in the oven! So much better this way.
Corn Dogs - the good part of only having two people in yoru house is that a 16 pack of corn dogs lasts for many meals!
Spaghetti - what I consider to be spaghetti is not very concise. It's pasta, ground meat, and red sauce. Any kind of noodle, ground beef, turkey, or sausage, and sauce. Oh, and cheese. I'm not sure if that's a food-naming travesty or not, but that's how things work in my kitchen.
Corn Dogs - and, that was the last of them.
Dominos - our one pizza order of the month.
Burritos - the boring ground beef and refried beans variety.
Hashbrown/Bacon/Scrambled Egg Bowls - hashbrowns still took forever to cook. But, it went much better the second time!
Enchamac - no meat in this one, just boxed mac and cheese with the addition of enchilada sauce.
Quesadillas & Frozen Pizza - plain cheese quesadillas, and those 4/5$ Totinos frozen pizzas that should be called personal pizzas.
Mexican Rice Burritos - again, I'm thinking of changing how I make these to cut down on costs. But still delicious.
Nachos - I wanted to make nacho soup, except I didn't have Rotel (because I used it for burritos!), so regular nachos it was.
Carls Jr - the one fast food of the month. Though, sadly, a week after our last non-cooked meal. But, they have new hamburgers like the Whiskey River BBQ burger from Red Robin, and it was delicious.
Quesadillas - plain with cheese, again, but in larger quantities!
Grilled Cheese - I say, learning to do this in the oven has been life changing. Plus, with my oven pan, I am able to make 3 sandwiches at a time, so we each can have 1.5 sandwiches, which means happier bellies and less wanting to snack later in the evening.
Mac and Cheese with Bacon - I had a few slices of bacon left and asked the Mister if it would taste good together. He said yes. He was right.
Chili/Cheese/Tator Tot Bake - it's simple, and I love it. Also, the addition of ketchup and/or BBQ sauce makes it even better.
Spaghetti - enough for leftovers, even!
Leftover Spaghetti & Grilled Cheese - but not quite right, ha!
Frozen Pizza - mmm, cheap pizza (they may cost 4/5$ but I only buy them when there's a buy 4, get 1$ off coupon).
Nacho Soup - we still love this stuff. We normally eat it with tortilla chips, but we didn't have any. Instead, I ovened (baked?) some tortillas at the end and, oh man, was that the way to go. I need to perfect my tortilla ovening (baking? That sounds weird, though) timing, but all in good time.
Leftover Nacho Soup - again, with tortillas! It seemed weird to be having soup in almost-June, but it's crockpot soup so it doesn't warm up the house.
Pepperjack Alfredo - I dunno what to call this one, really. It's an Alfredo recipe but I used pepperjack cheese instead of parmesan. It was kind of plain, though, and definitely could have used some chicken, but considering I haven't made any alfredo of any kind in years, it was a decent enough.
I would like to be able to report to you in one month that we haven't had any fast food for the month.
I would also like to have some new recipes to report back on. So far, I've got a recipe for homemade biscuits and gravy (which I also haven't done in years), a plan to make bean & cheese burritos, as well as more baking.
Now that it's getting to actually be summer, what are your favorite summer foods? And what can I "bake" that won't require the oven being on for an hour at a time? If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!
~ Havok
May, however, was a good cooking month. We ate out one night with family that we drove up to see, ordered pizza once, and got fast food once. And, for us, that's pretty darn good. I'm hoping, though, that in June those numbers will all be at a big fat zero. Not that I necessarily enjoy cooking every.single.day but I'd rather do that than the alternative.
So, onto the eats. As normal, it's nothing super exciting, but May did lend itself to learning quite a few new tricks in the kitchen!
From the beginning, with meals being grouped by week (Mondays-Sundays)
Macaroni and cheese - I have something to admit here. I buy the boxed stuff. Not Kraft, though, but the Kroger brand. I bought it a while ago, in the hopes it would be comparable because it was much cheaper, and it tastes pretty much the same. The noodles have much more starch to them, but once it's all cooked ready to eat, the taste is the same. I've tried generic mac and cheese before and never liked it, so to even try this was an adventure for me!
Quesadillas - in the oven! With cooked ground turkey inside! This was one of those "ZOMG HOW DID I NOT KNOW" meals. I'm still trying to figure out a good dip or sauce for these, because they are a tad plain, but I'm not sure what that would be.
Chili/Cheese/Tator Tot Bake - easy peasy kind of meal.
Mexican Rice Burritos - we love this recipe. I don't love buying Rotel for it each time we eat it, though, because it's 1$ a can, so I think I will switch to tomato something-or-other instead and continue with enchilada sauce (because that goes farther than one meal).
Corn Dogs - picked these up on sale in April and they're just good to keep around.
Nachos - the almighty nacho dinner. Ah. Remind me sometime to tell you about the vat of nacho sauce we used to buy (read: used to buy).
Chinese Food with the in-laws - we went up to see the Mister's parents for Mother's day, spent the better part of the afternoon assembling patio furniture, and then we all went out to a Chinese food restaurant for dinner. Totally worth the hours of sweat and heat put into the furniture!
Leftover Chinese - has anyone ever not had leftovers from Chinese food?
Hashbrown/Bacon/Scrambled Egg Bowls - bacon was on sale, I had half a bag of potatoes left, and I had eggs. I figured it'd be worth a shot. And let's just say it was a good one. Hashbrowns, however, take forever to cook, but I did know to cut the bacon into pieces and then cook it, so I'm calling it a draw.
Grilled Cheese - in the oven! So much better this way.
Corn Dogs - the good part of only having two people in yoru house is that a 16 pack of corn dogs lasts for many meals!
Spaghetti - what I consider to be spaghetti is not very concise. It's pasta, ground meat, and red sauce. Any kind of noodle, ground beef, turkey, or sausage, and sauce. Oh, and cheese. I'm not sure if that's a food-naming travesty or not, but that's how things work in my kitchen.
Corn Dogs - and, that was the last of them.
Dominos - our one pizza order of the month.
Burritos - the boring ground beef and refried beans variety.
Hashbrown/Bacon/Scrambled Egg Bowls - hashbrowns still took forever to cook. But, it went much better the second time!
Enchamac - no meat in this one, just boxed mac and cheese with the addition of enchilada sauce.
Quesadillas & Frozen Pizza - plain cheese quesadillas, and those 4/5$ Totinos frozen pizzas that should be called personal pizzas.
Mexican Rice Burritos - again, I'm thinking of changing how I make these to cut down on costs. But still delicious.
Nachos - I wanted to make nacho soup, except I didn't have Rotel (because I used it for burritos!), so regular nachos it was.
Carls Jr - the one fast food of the month. Though, sadly, a week after our last non-cooked meal. But, they have new hamburgers like the Whiskey River BBQ burger from Red Robin, and it was delicious.
Quesadillas - plain with cheese, again, but in larger quantities!
Grilled Cheese - I say, learning to do this in the oven has been life changing. Plus, with my oven pan, I am able to make 3 sandwiches at a time, so we each can have 1.5 sandwiches, which means happier bellies and less wanting to snack later in the evening.
Mac and Cheese with Bacon - I had a few slices of bacon left and asked the Mister if it would taste good together. He said yes. He was right.
Chili/Cheese/Tator Tot Bake - it's simple, and I love it. Also, the addition of ketchup and/or BBQ sauce makes it even better.
Spaghetti - enough for leftovers, even!
Leftover Spaghetti & Grilled Cheese - but not quite right, ha!
Frozen Pizza - mmm, cheap pizza (they may cost 4/5$ but I only buy them when there's a buy 4, get 1$ off coupon).
Nacho Soup - we still love this stuff. We normally eat it with tortilla chips, but we didn't have any. Instead, I ovened (baked?) some tortillas at the end and, oh man, was that the way to go. I need to perfect my tortilla ovening (baking? That sounds weird, though) timing, but all in good time.
Leftover Nacho Soup - again, with tortillas! It seemed weird to be having soup in almost-June, but it's crockpot soup so it doesn't warm up the house.
Pepperjack Alfredo - I dunno what to call this one, really. It's an Alfredo recipe but I used pepperjack cheese instead of parmesan. It was kind of plain, though, and definitely could have used some chicken, but considering I haven't made any alfredo of any kind in years, it was a decent enough.
I would like to be able to report to you in one month that we haven't had any fast food for the month.
I would also like to have some new recipes to report back on. So far, I've got a recipe for homemade biscuits and gravy (which I also haven't done in years), a plan to make bean & cheese burritos, as well as more baking.
Now that it's getting to actually be summer, what are your favorite summer foods? And what can I "bake" that won't require the oven being on for an hour at a time? If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!
~ Havok
If you liked this post, be sure and check out these other posts!
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Introduction to Permaculture Course - in review
At the beginning of May, I shared that I was going to be taking an Introduction to Permaculture course. And now that the course is over, it's time to share what in the world I know about Permaculture now.
Which, sadly, isn't as much as I thought it would be.
However, that has nothing to do with the course, and entirely to do with my expectations.
You see, it was an introduction to Permaculture design course - which means, essentially, giving you the basic information you need to then, well, design your "site" to do the most it can do. Not the actual ways that you go about it.
The course had information for a temperate climate, a desert climate, and a tropical one. Which means that there was even less information on specifics.
But, as a free course available to anyone who decided to show up, that means they can't just say "well, we're in Oregon, we're going to talk about Oregon." Well, they could, sure, but it wouldn't let the hundreds of people in other countries learn much. Though, it would have been helpful to me, because I'm in Oregon.
Which is actually a part of why I was interested in the course. It was from Oregon State University, which is South of where I live, though not by much, and has basically the same things to think about - and I was hopeful there would be some, well, examples.
There were, though. Kind of. From the person teaching the course and what they did in their backyard. For all of 1 minute throughout the course. And that was about it. They showed other places around the world, in large communities, that seemed to be doing a fabulous job from the small amounts of information we got about them - pictures and overlays of things, how they made their waterways and that's about it.
However, it was all bits and pieces. Nothing, well, specific.
Which, sadly, specific is my learning style.
At the end of the course, I was left with a "you know, I think Google would have been better for me."
It was interesting, sure. But I could have learned the same things from a few searches, with a lot less video watching.
There were plenty of links provided, but far too many to get through, and from what I saw, a lot of them were "what do we think" in regards to Permaculture and not "this is how we did it."
At the same time, the idea of Permaculture is, well, "what do we think" and "this is what you should think about" and it doesn't actually involve a lot of steps or necessary pieces, and there is definitely no list of things to have.
You, essentially, take the land you have, look at it, figure out how it works as it is, figure out what you can do with it to get the largest rate of return, and just do that.
And really, that's it.
You want to use the benefits of an area to your advantage. You want to make sure that you take any disadvantages and spin them (if possible) to be in your favor, even if a little bit. You want to be sure that whatever you are doing isn't going to hurt yourself in the long run (there's a lot of long-term planning involved!) and that you're planning for all seasons and weather possibilities.
Thinking of water, in both rain and storage and where it will run to and from. Thinking of warm and cold, where your house needs to be to be warm in the Winter and cool in the Summer. Thinking of the best place to keep the things you're growing that you'll eat most (and keeping them closer to your home for easy maintenance). Planting fruit tress that will grow and grow, giving you more fruit each year, versus something you plant each year and only get that one harvest (when possible, of course).
It's long term planning, being aware of the environment, and using it to your advantage.
So, no, a month-long course is not going to teach you everything you need to know about it. If it's something you're interested in, something you want to apply to your property, then you will have to look at what it's actually like there, what can grow there, what to build, what kind of energy you can harvest from the area (though I did learn that there is such a thing as biomass energy - and it is exactly what you think it is) - essentially, what all your land can do for you, as well as what you can do for it.
Which is the whole point of Permaculture. You're playing the long game. You'll learn as you go. There is no wrong or right way. You do you.
And that's a thing I can get behind.
Also, if you're interested, OSU is having the course again starting October 31st.
Or, if that's not your speed, Wikipedia is a good start.
~ Havok
Which, sadly, isn't as much as I thought it would be.
However, that has nothing to do with the course, and entirely to do with my expectations.
You see, it was an introduction to Permaculture design course - which means, essentially, giving you the basic information you need to then, well, design your "site" to do the most it can do. Not the actual ways that you go about it.
The course had information for a temperate climate, a desert climate, and a tropical one. Which means that there was even less information on specifics.
But, as a free course available to anyone who decided to show up, that means they can't just say "well, we're in Oregon, we're going to talk about Oregon." Well, they could, sure, but it wouldn't let the hundreds of people in other countries learn much. Though, it would have been helpful to me, because I'm in Oregon.
Which is actually a part of why I was interested in the course. It was from Oregon State University, which is South of where I live, though not by much, and has basically the same things to think about - and I was hopeful there would be some, well, examples.
There were, though. Kind of. From the person teaching the course and what they did in their backyard. For all of 1 minute throughout the course. And that was about it. They showed other places around the world, in large communities, that seemed to be doing a fabulous job from the small amounts of information we got about them - pictures and overlays of things, how they made their waterways and that's about it.
However, it was all bits and pieces. Nothing, well, specific.
Which, sadly, specific is my learning style.
At the end of the course, I was left with a "you know, I think Google would have been better for me."
It was interesting, sure. But I could have learned the same things from a few searches, with a lot less video watching.
There were plenty of links provided, but far too many to get through, and from what I saw, a lot of them were "what do we think" in regards to Permaculture and not "this is how we did it."
At the same time, the idea of Permaculture is, well, "what do we think" and "this is what you should think about" and it doesn't actually involve a lot of steps or necessary pieces, and there is definitely no list of things to have.
You, essentially, take the land you have, look at it, figure out how it works as it is, figure out what you can do with it to get the largest rate of return, and just do that.
And really, that's it.
You want to use the benefits of an area to your advantage. You want to make sure that you take any disadvantages and spin them (if possible) to be in your favor, even if a little bit. You want to be sure that whatever you are doing isn't going to hurt yourself in the long run (there's a lot of long-term planning involved!) and that you're planning for all seasons and weather possibilities.
Thinking of water, in both rain and storage and where it will run to and from. Thinking of warm and cold, where your house needs to be to be warm in the Winter and cool in the Summer. Thinking of the best place to keep the things you're growing that you'll eat most (and keeping them closer to your home for easy maintenance). Planting fruit tress that will grow and grow, giving you more fruit each year, versus something you plant each year and only get that one harvest (when possible, of course).
It's long term planning, being aware of the environment, and using it to your advantage.
So, no, a month-long course is not going to teach you everything you need to know about it. If it's something you're interested in, something you want to apply to your property, then you will have to look at what it's actually like there, what can grow there, what to build, what kind of energy you can harvest from the area (though I did learn that there is such a thing as biomass energy - and it is exactly what you think it is) - essentially, what all your land can do for you, as well as what you can do for it.
Which is the whole point of Permaculture. You're playing the long game. You'll learn as you go. There is no wrong or right way. You do you.
And that's a thing I can get behind.
Also, if you're interested, OSU is having the course again starting October 31st.
Or, if that's not your speed, Wikipedia is a good start.
~ Havok
If you liked this post, be sure and check out these other posts!
Monday, May 30, 2016
The Little Grocery Budget That Could - Or So I Hope
Saving money is hard, y'all. You think you're doing well, everything is going great, and then all of a sudden it's time for all the bills to be paid and you get a case of the worries.
Luckily, we've had everything work out in the end, but there have been a few times where we've had to look at all our accounts and figure out what order to pay which in, and what can wait another week.
That's certainly not a fun place to be.
And guess who gets to be there even more! Err, more like, guess who gets to fall farther into that hole.
Yeah.
Our rent is going up. Our apartment lease is up, and we have to stay here for another 2 or 3 months. Because we're moving, yay! Well, we're 80% sure that we're moving in 2 or 3 months. More on that later. But, our lease is up and they won't let us sign a 3 month lease, so we get to pay not only the normal increase in rent, but also the no-lease premium (which is 100$).
So, we'll be paying just shy of an extra 200$ a month. For no extra benefit. Woo. We're thrilled. Can you see my sarcastic face? I hope so.
This means we're in the process of battening down the hatches and hunkering down (and doing nothing whatsoever, essentially).
Luckily, I've had a head start.
A few years ago, I had no grocery budget. We were a two income household and had plenty of extra funds. So, groceries were whatever I wanted to buy. Sure, I tried to save money, but there was no hard and fast number to live by (though paying anything more than 60$ was ridiculous, and I tried to avoid that).
Then, I was no longer working. So, I set a budget of "well, about 50$."
Then, it got to a strict 50$.
For a while, that worked for us. We had wiggle room, and I certainly wasn't spending that much every time.
Then rents went up (as they do - thanks, everyone, for moving to the Portland area!), we acquired another vehicle (motorcycles are ridiculously expensive for being a cheaper vehicle, by the way), and we were in a much tighter situation.
So, I went down to 40$ a week. It was better.
Things have gotten tighter. The money wiggling has gotten worse. And now this?
For the past few weeks, and from here on out, I'm down to 35$. At most. And that's it.
That's all the money there is. That's all I can spend.
I'm very thankful that the Mister has decided to try and give up his Mountain Dew habit, which has certainly helped cut spending. I'm also thankful that my coupon using practice has helped get us to a point where we could eat for a week without needing a full grocery shop if push came to shove (from stocking up on sale prices and planning farther ahead than just for the current week).
At the same time, we've still not given it all up (which we'll discuss later this week, with May's reverse meal plan) and it's easy to get caught up in the idea of "deserving."
"We've done so good, we deserve hamburgers...we've been smelling BBQ for the past week when we walk the dogs each night, we deserve to have some, too." And that's how we ended up having Carl's Jr for dinner last weekend. It was so good. But, hot damn, is it expensive.
But, we have the food in the house to cook. I went and bought it. And brought it home and lovingly put it away (because a well stocked kitchen brings me joy) and I know what can be made, and I always try and have at least a few things that can just be thrown in the oven as options to eat.
I may deserve to have something that somebody else cooked. But we can't afford to have something that somebody else cooked.
Which is why I'm instilling a no-spend. No, I haven't told the Mister. But I know that if I keep my mouth shut about fast food, that will be half the battle of not eating it (because the majority of the time we end up getting something because I say I don't want to cook, then he says he doesn't wan to cook, and then we spend about 20$ on dinner - which is insane).
Groceries are the only thing I am allowed to buy. And that's only 35$ a week. That's it. No fast food. No trickery of convincing myself that if the Mister pays for it, I didn't buy it (I'm good at that particular sort of mental gymnastics).
We have to. There's an extra 200$ a month we have to find somewhere, and I know it won't be found in a hamburger or a pizza - though, wouldn't that be great?
And so, here's where I ask a silly question. What can we eat for 2 months that won't leave the Mister hating me? Because, the way I see it, we'll be eating lots of mac and cheese and spaghetti - which will definitely not make him a happy camper. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!
~ Havok
P.S. Grocery budget, in this case, means anything bought from the grocery store. So toiletries count, dog food counts, cleaning supplies count, etc. So, this week when I'm buying dog food (I may even be at the store *right now* while you're reading this!), that will have to come out of that 35$. I know some people count groceries as only what they eat, and we are not that kind of household.
Luckily, we've had everything work out in the end, but there have been a few times where we've had to look at all our accounts and figure out what order to pay which in, and what can wait another week.
That's certainly not a fun place to be.
And guess who gets to be there even more! Err, more like, guess who gets to fall farther into that hole.
Yeah.
Our rent is going up. Our apartment lease is up, and we have to stay here for another 2 or 3 months. Because we're moving, yay! Well, we're 80% sure that we're moving in 2 or 3 months. More on that later. But, our lease is up and they won't let us sign a 3 month lease, so we get to pay not only the normal increase in rent, but also the no-lease premium (which is 100$).
So, we'll be paying just shy of an extra 200$ a month. For no extra benefit. Woo. We're thrilled. Can you see my sarcastic face? I hope so.
This means we're in the process of battening down the hatches and hunkering down (and doing nothing whatsoever, essentially).
Luckily, I've had a head start.
A few years ago, I had no grocery budget. We were a two income household and had plenty of extra funds. So, groceries were whatever I wanted to buy. Sure, I tried to save money, but there was no hard and fast number to live by (though paying anything more than 60$ was ridiculous, and I tried to avoid that).
Then, I was no longer working. So, I set a budget of "well, about 50$."
Then, it got to a strict 50$.
For a while, that worked for us. We had wiggle room, and I certainly wasn't spending that much every time.
Then rents went up (as they do - thanks, everyone, for moving to the Portland area!), we acquired another vehicle (motorcycles are ridiculously expensive for being a cheaper vehicle, by the way), and we were in a much tighter situation.
So, I went down to 40$ a week. It was better.
Things have gotten tighter. The money wiggling has gotten worse. And now this?
For the past few weeks, and from here on out, I'm down to 35$. At most. And that's it.
That's all the money there is. That's all I can spend.
I'm very thankful that the Mister has decided to try and give up his Mountain Dew habit, which has certainly helped cut spending. I'm also thankful that my coupon using practice has helped get us to a point where we could eat for a week without needing a full grocery shop if push came to shove (from stocking up on sale prices and planning farther ahead than just for the current week).
At the same time, we've still not given it all up (which we'll discuss later this week, with May's reverse meal plan) and it's easy to get caught up in the idea of "deserving."
"We've done so good, we deserve hamburgers...we've been smelling BBQ for the past week when we walk the dogs each night, we deserve to have some, too." And that's how we ended up having Carl's Jr for dinner last weekend. It was so good. But, hot damn, is it expensive.
But, we have the food in the house to cook. I went and bought it. And brought it home and lovingly put it away (because a well stocked kitchen brings me joy) and I know what can be made, and I always try and have at least a few things that can just be thrown in the oven as options to eat.
I may deserve to have something that somebody else cooked. But we can't afford to have something that somebody else cooked.
Which is why I'm instilling a no-spend. No, I haven't told the Mister. But I know that if I keep my mouth shut about fast food, that will be half the battle of not eating it (because the majority of the time we end up getting something because I say I don't want to cook, then he says he doesn't wan to cook, and then we spend about 20$ on dinner - which is insane).
Groceries are the only thing I am allowed to buy. And that's only 35$ a week. That's it. No fast food. No trickery of convincing myself that if the Mister pays for it, I didn't buy it (I'm good at that particular sort of mental gymnastics).
We have to. There's an extra 200$ a month we have to find somewhere, and I know it won't be found in a hamburger or a pizza - though, wouldn't that be great?
And so, here's where I ask a silly question. What can we eat for 2 months that won't leave the Mister hating me? Because, the way I see it, we'll be eating lots of mac and cheese and spaghetti - which will definitely not make him a happy camper. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!
~ Havok
P.S. Grocery budget, in this case, means anything bought from the grocery store. So toiletries count, dog food counts, cleaning supplies count, etc. So, this week when I'm buying dog food (I may even be at the store *right now* while you're reading this!), that will have to come out of that 35$. I know some people count groceries as only what they eat, and we are not that kind of household.
If you liked this post, be sure and check out these other posts!
Friday, May 27, 2016
The Best Way to Read for Free
I enjoy reading, but I don't necessarily stick with it as much as I should. Oh, I can buy books, that's the easy part. It's reading them that I have a hard time with. I have good intentions, but as with everything else I enjoy doing, there's just too many other things to choose from (and there's always something that looks or sounds like a "better" use of time, no matter what activity I am doing).
And so, because I'm not reading, I'm not buying books. I can't justify it - I have plenty of other books that I should be reading if I wanted to read something.
But when books are free?
I can't say no.
And no, I'm not meaning the free books on Amazon that have romantic stories and are a part of a series and are, essentially, the new Harlequin romance novels, without being published by Harlequin (which, if that's your thing, awesome. It's just not mine).
I mean real books. Real books you would normally have to pay for, that would cost more than 99 cents, even when on sale.
No, it's not cheating the system; and, no, it doesn't involve torrents.
It involves an app. And not a sketchy one, either!
It's the Google Rewards app, to be precise.
You see, Google is crazy. In so many ways, really, but this one especially.
And while it is a survey app (I can hear your groaning - knock it off), it's of the most basic variety.
A lot of the questions are to get your opinion on things. Lately I've had questions about traveling ("what are your opinions on travel", "how often do you go", "what is your ideal vacation"). It's all simple questions, of the checkbox variety (nothing open-ended), and I don't think I've had one that was more than 5 questions long. Easy peasy.
There are also questions that, I'm guessing, help with Google Maps. Now, the app (like Google Now and Google Maps) will know where you've been if you let it, and it will then give you surveys based on that information. For example, the last time we went to Fry's, it asked me within the next day if I went to Fry's (which I said yes to) and then asked what day and then that was it - and I got credit for it. Sometimes it asks if I've been to places I've never even heard of, but I just say "no" to the places it is asking about. I got credit for those questions and answers, too.
And that's about it. Each survey takes less than a minute to answer.
And the credit system is the easiest thing in the world. Because it actually just gives you money straight out (no point system to worry about). Each survey isn't necessarily worth a lot (some are as low as 10 cents, some are closer to 1$). But, they're fairly frequent, and would probably be even more frequent if you left the house more than I do, which is very rarely.
I started using the app at the end of November last year, and currently have been rewarded a total of $27.86. Just because I answered a few questions from Google every so often.
However, you're not getting actual cash, you're getting credits to the Google Play store. Which means you can buy apps, you can buy books, you can buy movies or music - anything they sell, you can buy it.
And that, my friends, is the secret to free books. Let Google know where you've been, or that you haven't been on a "real" vacation in about two years, and they'll just give you money. It doesn't get much easier than that!
What about you? Would you tell Google where you've been in exchange for free books? Or do you feel that Google knows too much already?
~ Havok
P.S. This is not a sponsored post in anyway, I just want to share this information with you. Google is an awesome company, in my eyes, and I publish this blog through Blogger, so I am even more grateful to Google, but I am not getting anything out of telling you about this program.
And so, because I'm not reading, I'm not buying books. I can't justify it - I have plenty of other books that I should be reading if I wanted to read something.
But when books are free?
I can't say no.
And no, I'm not meaning the free books on Amazon that have romantic stories and are a part of a series and are, essentially, the new Harlequin romance novels, without being published by Harlequin (which, if that's your thing, awesome. It's just not mine).
I mean real books. Real books you would normally have to pay for, that would cost more than 99 cents, even when on sale.
No, it's not cheating the system; and, no, it doesn't involve torrents.
It involves an app. And not a sketchy one, either!
It's the Google Rewards app, to be precise.
You see, Google is crazy. In so many ways, really, but this one especially.
And while it is a survey app (I can hear your groaning - knock it off), it's of the most basic variety.
A lot of the questions are to get your opinion on things. Lately I've had questions about traveling ("what are your opinions on travel", "how often do you go", "what is your ideal vacation"). It's all simple questions, of the checkbox variety (nothing open-ended), and I don't think I've had one that was more than 5 questions long. Easy peasy.
There are also questions that, I'm guessing, help with Google Maps. Now, the app (like Google Now and Google Maps) will know where you've been if you let it, and it will then give you surveys based on that information. For example, the last time we went to Fry's, it asked me within the next day if I went to Fry's (which I said yes to) and then asked what day and then that was it - and I got credit for it. Sometimes it asks if I've been to places I've never even heard of, but I just say "no" to the places it is asking about. I got credit for those questions and answers, too.
And that's about it. Each survey takes less than a minute to answer.
And the credit system is the easiest thing in the world. Because it actually just gives you money straight out (no point system to worry about). Each survey isn't necessarily worth a lot (some are as low as 10 cents, some are closer to 1$). But, they're fairly frequent, and would probably be even more frequent if you left the house more than I do, which is very rarely.
I started using the app at the end of November last year, and currently have been rewarded a total of $27.86. Just because I answered a few questions from Google every so often.
However, you're not getting actual cash, you're getting credits to the Google Play store. Which means you can buy apps, you can buy books, you can buy movies or music - anything they sell, you can buy it.
And that, my friends, is the secret to free books. Let Google know where you've been, or that you haven't been on a "real" vacation in about two years, and they'll just give you money. It doesn't get much easier than that!
What about you? Would you tell Google where you've been in exchange for free books? Or do you feel that Google knows too much already?
~ Havok
P.S. This is not a sponsored post in anyway, I just want to share this information with you. Google is an awesome company, in my eyes, and I publish this blog through Blogger, so I am even more grateful to Google, but I am not getting anything out of telling you about this program.
If you liked this post, be sure and check out these other posts!
Groceries - Because We Need To Eat
[Edit 5/27/2016: Added to Best of the Weekend link party]
[Edit 5/29/2016: Added to The Creative Gallery link party, Motivational Monday link up and Create and Crave link party]
[Edit 5/31/2016: Added to The Alder Collective link party]
[Edit 5/29/2016: Added to The Creative Gallery link party, Motivational Monday link up and Create and Crave link party]
[Edit 5/31/2016: Added to The Alder Collective link party]
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
It Sounds Silly, But It Bothers Me [goals and mission statements and exasperations]
Things are strange. Life is strange. We know this. Heck, I know this very well.
And yet, I'm always forgetting. The strange times come up and I go "what is this nonsense, where did this come from, and who thought this was a good idea?"
![It Sounds Silly, But It Bothers Me [goals and mission statements and exasperations] | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLNWD9cae3hCCuOETkw3NRZ-Nd2Hix0-0XLE4fySn0MkEjqbPlB_TSoqv1iIuy37ukrz6ck-CZOP_g24o7wAeZi0C6WJdalFtTdjVtOUatrOczuTRJUiVZHBfQXrMUuGlwZzHWB_rii0OK/s1600/soundssillybothersme.jpg "It Sounds Silly, But It Bothers Me [goals and mission statements and exasperations] | Anxiously Being Havok")
Let me start from the beginning.
I've been reading Getting Things Done by David Allen, and it all makes perfect sense (well, the half of the book I've read so far), but now I'm overwhelmed. I, apparently, had way more in my head than I thought I did, once I did the first large get-it-all-on-paper exercise. Which means a much larger list than I thought I would end up with. And for a bajillion "projects" that are all over the place.
Which leads to seeing that there is no, well, guiding force in any of those next actions lists or project lists or someday/maybe lists (all lists you should have as per Mr. Allen).
I've also been watching Dragon Ball Z Kai lately, and there's always a big bad guy to fight, there's always training to do, there's always something that they actually need to get done. They can see it, they can easily gauge where they need to be. Yeah, the bad guy is always way more powerful than they think he is going to be, and they normally start out by getting their asses handed to them, but they get through in the end.
Real life isn't like that, is it?
You may set goals and you may know what needs to be done and you can see it, but the major thing that needs to be done is hardly something tangible that you can look at.
People want to be happy, people want to do work they enjoy and are passionate about, people want to be free from debt or be able to retire without worry, or they want to have a family, or they want to travel and see the world, or...I dunno, whatever else it is that people want to do.
But, for the most part, none of it is something you can look at (in reality) and say, I'm going to conquer that. Unless you want to climb Mount Everest, and even then it's going to be more of an abstract thing until you see just how tall it is once you're actually at the base.
Some people have the ability to create such a thing in their mind - visualizing what they want, and saying they want it. Some people are able to write it out with detail and say they want it.
And then there's a group of people, that I belong to, that can't do that.
Because we don't know what to visualize or write down.
I've managed to get this old without knowing what to do. Oh, I know the general day to day stuff, sure. But the larger picture? Hi, yeah, no. Not at all.
I've always fallen back to "I want to be happy," but that's not something you can see or write down beyond that. I want to not live in an apartment, but that's also far too wide of a thing to just have that to reach for.
And, really, beyond that, I just don't know.
This morning, from a Internet rabbit hole that started yesterday, I attempted to create a mission statement from the Franklin Covey website. I started out strong. Then the questions got harder, and I got sadder and more sullen and much more...depressed about it. It was immediate. Because I simply didn't know how to answer those questions.
The question that started the downfall was to imagine you're at your 80th birthday. Who would be there, and what would be your legacy that all those people would be celebrating (along with the part about, ya know, making it to 80).
One, making it to 80? I'd be in so much pain at 80, I'm sure - I've always thought that would be too old to be, all things considered with how well things (read: my body) work for me now.
Second, who would be there? Uhm, good question? What friends would I have at 80? I mean, I assume you have less friends at 80 than you do at 20, and I already have very fewer friends than I did at 20, and it will only get less, right? So, there will be negative amounts of people at this party? That sounds, well, hideous (but great, actually, because I'm not a fan of groups of people, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad!).
But then, thirdly, what would be the legacy? Nothing. As it stands right now, it would be nothing. The accumulation of stuff that I've managed to acquire. A dog that knows to not get excited when I ask him if he wants a knuckle sandwich (which is a fabulous control statement to try and figure out what thing he is asking for - if he gets excited at "knuckle sandwich" that means he doesn't know what he wants), except if I'm 80, Tux won't make it that long (dogs should live longer, right?!).
But beyond that, I'm not sure what it would be. The collection of stuff and a cool dog that I had.
Now, granted, the idea of that question is to find out what you want to be what is discussed. But, again, I don't know what that would be. If it was possible to find a way to make a dog live that long, I'd sign up for that to be the answer, but that's not really on the table.
What do I want a snapshot of my life to be? I have no clue. To be surrounded by people? No, I don't like groups of people. To be surrounded by stuff? No, the stuff already gives me stress, let alone having it all for another 60 years. To have lots of money? What for, when I'm 80 what am I gonna spend it on? To have a house? That I can't take care of when I'm 80 because I'll be a broken little old lady?
Maybe I'm being too negative about it, but that's part of the idea and the problem.
Either way, it was an exercise that I didn't enjoy.
And also an exercise that has led me to thinking that I need to do another one - actually think about things like that more, and feel something beyond pessimism about the future. To really think about and draft up the written copy of what a best life could be. Even if it's crazy and out there (read: living in a cabin the woods for a year, because wouldn't that be fun?!), or even if it's boring (read: live outside of the greater Portland area, because it's pretty crappy here in my mind), or even the general normal stuff (read: be able to not hoard Pokemon cards even though I've never technically played the card game in the proper manner and certainly not in a league setting, except I enjoy them, even though they sit in my closet - the mental gymnastics of it all!).
Maybe that sounds silly.
It kind of does. But I know it's probably going to be a better snapshot of the things I want versus trying to look 60 years in the future, or trying to think of 3 people that have influenced me (Ash Ketchum or Goku probably wouldn't count, if you catch my drift) and what their qualities are (though, really, those two have been more influential to me than most real people).
And, just like trying to get in line with the GTD program, while it sounds simple enough to brainstorm all of that, I can also see that it will be overwhelming. That part I'm not looking forward to, but it's unavoidable.
Because, really, I'd rather have some discomfort than continue just being in a day at a time or a week at a time. The days themselves are fine, but wouldn't it be cool if they could combine into one larger thing? To create something that isn't just, well, a collection of days?
~ Havok
P.S. I have a story that goes with this perfectly, but doesn't fit into the conversation 100%, but it's very fitting. When I was in high school, I had the greatest idea ever - instead of a couch, I'd get one of those plastic red racecar beds and have that as a couch, as it would lend itself to realism for racing video games. It was brilliant (and an idea I'm actually still fond of) and would have made me the coolest person I knew. Now, I have a couch, and no racecar bed. I don't play those racing games as often as I'd like to. And, so far as housing or furniture goes, I'd be content with walls that have more insulation in them (to not hear the neighbor dogs as much, so my dogs will bark less).
It's a great example of the whole kerfuffle, and the kind of thing that comes to mind with a bit of reflection on the concept of wanting things out of life (or not) - and also proof that, at least in the small sense, I did at one point have such thoughts and ideas.
P.P.S. I know the whole "I don't know what I want to be when I'm grown up either, and I'm x-years old!" is a thing. I'm not saying I don't know what I want to be when I grow up (though that's totally a fact). I'm saying that, even on the most basic level, I don't know what any of it would be in any sort of write-down-able or visualizational level. Then again, maybe I'm just letting it bother me too much. Could be.
And yet, I'm always forgetting. The strange times come up and I go "what is this nonsense, where did this come from, and who thought this was a good idea?"
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Let me start from the beginning.
I've been reading Getting Things Done by David Allen, and it all makes perfect sense (well, the half of the book I've read so far), but now I'm overwhelmed. I, apparently, had way more in my head than I thought I did, once I did the first large get-it-all-on-paper exercise. Which means a much larger list than I thought I would end up with. And for a bajillion "projects" that are all over the place.
Which leads to seeing that there is no, well, guiding force in any of those next actions lists or project lists or someday/maybe lists (all lists you should have as per Mr. Allen).
I've also been watching Dragon Ball Z Kai lately, and there's always a big bad guy to fight, there's always training to do, there's always something that they actually need to get done. They can see it, they can easily gauge where they need to be. Yeah, the bad guy is always way more powerful than they think he is going to be, and they normally start out by getting their asses handed to them, but they get through in the end.
Real life isn't like that, is it?
You may set goals and you may know what needs to be done and you can see it, but the major thing that needs to be done is hardly something tangible that you can look at.
People want to be happy, people want to do work they enjoy and are passionate about, people want to be free from debt or be able to retire without worry, or they want to have a family, or they want to travel and see the world, or...I dunno, whatever else it is that people want to do.
But, for the most part, none of it is something you can look at (in reality) and say, I'm going to conquer that. Unless you want to climb Mount Everest, and even then it's going to be more of an abstract thing until you see just how tall it is once you're actually at the base.
Some people have the ability to create such a thing in their mind - visualizing what they want, and saying they want it. Some people are able to write it out with detail and say they want it.
And then there's a group of people, that I belong to, that can't do that.
Because we don't know what to visualize or write down.
I've managed to get this old without knowing what to do. Oh, I know the general day to day stuff, sure. But the larger picture? Hi, yeah, no. Not at all.
I've always fallen back to "I want to be happy," but that's not something you can see or write down beyond that. I want to not live in an apartment, but that's also far too wide of a thing to just have that to reach for.
And, really, beyond that, I just don't know.
This morning, from a Internet rabbit hole that started yesterday, I attempted to create a mission statement from the Franklin Covey website. I started out strong. Then the questions got harder, and I got sadder and more sullen and much more...depressed about it. It was immediate. Because I simply didn't know how to answer those questions.
The question that started the downfall was to imagine you're at your 80th birthday. Who would be there, and what would be your legacy that all those people would be celebrating (along with the part about, ya know, making it to 80).
One, making it to 80? I'd be in so much pain at 80, I'm sure - I've always thought that would be too old to be, all things considered with how well things (read: my body) work for me now.
Second, who would be there? Uhm, good question? What friends would I have at 80? I mean, I assume you have less friends at 80 than you do at 20, and I already have very fewer friends than I did at 20, and it will only get less, right? So, there will be negative amounts of people at this party? That sounds, well, hideous (but great, actually, because I'm not a fan of groups of people, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad!).
But then, thirdly, what would be the legacy? Nothing. As it stands right now, it would be nothing. The accumulation of stuff that I've managed to acquire. A dog that knows to not get excited when I ask him if he wants a knuckle sandwich (which is a fabulous control statement to try and figure out what thing he is asking for - if he gets excited at "knuckle sandwich" that means he doesn't know what he wants), except if I'm 80, Tux won't make it that long (dogs should live longer, right?!).
But beyond that, I'm not sure what it would be. The collection of stuff and a cool dog that I had.
Now, granted, the idea of that question is to find out what you want to be what is discussed. But, again, I don't know what that would be. If it was possible to find a way to make a dog live that long, I'd sign up for that to be the answer, but that's not really on the table.
What do I want a snapshot of my life to be? I have no clue. To be surrounded by people? No, I don't like groups of people. To be surrounded by stuff? No, the stuff already gives me stress, let alone having it all for another 60 years. To have lots of money? What for, when I'm 80 what am I gonna spend it on? To have a house? That I can't take care of when I'm 80 because I'll be a broken little old lady?
Maybe I'm being too negative about it, but that's part of the idea and the problem.
Either way, it was an exercise that I didn't enjoy.
And also an exercise that has led me to thinking that I need to do another one - actually think about things like that more, and feel something beyond pessimism about the future. To really think about and draft up the written copy of what a best life could be. Even if it's crazy and out there (read: living in a cabin the woods for a year, because wouldn't that be fun?!), or even if it's boring (read: live outside of the greater Portland area, because it's pretty crappy here in my mind), or even the general normal stuff (read: be able to not hoard Pokemon cards even though I've never technically played the card game in the proper manner and certainly not in a league setting, except I enjoy them, even though they sit in my closet - the mental gymnastics of it all!).
Maybe that sounds silly.
It kind of does. But I know it's probably going to be a better snapshot of the things I want versus trying to look 60 years in the future, or trying to think of 3 people that have influenced me (Ash Ketchum or Goku probably wouldn't count, if you catch my drift) and what their qualities are (though, really, those two have been more influential to me than most real people).
And, just like trying to get in line with the GTD program, while it sounds simple enough to brainstorm all of that, I can also see that it will be overwhelming. That part I'm not looking forward to, but it's unavoidable.
Because, really, I'd rather have some discomfort than continue just being in a day at a time or a week at a time. The days themselves are fine, but wouldn't it be cool if they could combine into one larger thing? To create something that isn't just, well, a collection of days?
~ Havok
P.S. I have a story that goes with this perfectly, but doesn't fit into the conversation 100%, but it's very fitting. When I was in high school, I had the greatest idea ever - instead of a couch, I'd get one of those plastic red racecar beds and have that as a couch, as it would lend itself to realism for racing video games. It was brilliant (and an idea I'm actually still fond of) and would have made me the coolest person I knew. Now, I have a couch, and no racecar bed. I don't play those racing games as often as I'd like to. And, so far as housing or furniture goes, I'd be content with walls that have more insulation in them (to not hear the neighbor dogs as much, so my dogs will bark less).
It's a great example of the whole kerfuffle, and the kind of thing that comes to mind with a bit of reflection on the concept of wanting things out of life (or not) - and also proof that, at least in the small sense, I did at one point have such thoughts and ideas.
P.P.S. I know the whole "I don't know what I want to be when I'm grown up either, and I'm x-years old!" is a thing. I'm not saying I don't know what I want to be when I grow up (though that's totally a fact). I'm saying that, even on the most basic level, I don't know what any of it would be in any sort of write-down-able or visualizational level. Then again, maybe I'm just letting it bother me too much. Could be.
If you enjoy rambling self-improvement posts, check out these other posts.
Monday, May 23, 2016
I Want These Every Day [homemade croutons]
I was one of those kids that didn't eat bread crusts. Until I was forced to, and discovered that it doesn't taste bad, as kid brain had led me to believe (and then I later took to calling them "the butt" of the bread, also because of kid brain).
Now, many many years later, while bread ends aren't gross or anything, they're not as tasty - I blame it on the fact that I buy the 99 cent bread versus the much better stuff (I would eat potato bread bread ends every day if I could!). So, for the last long while, I've not been eating them (it's shameful to waste food, I know, but most of the time, once we're at the end of a loaf of bread, it's starting to go stale, anyway).
![I Want These Every Day [homemade croutons] | Use up those bread ends for croutons - it's quick and easy and delicious! | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB2eU3s-AXu00-B8p3Uw-vBoxTiZ1D71zkZweT7BJDIM-qyHMDxmQRD3tg9QjiIBQKZsx8ioUTKs3VoWH2w6RpkGQwgHhP8TrkmZKf-XS412G4xXNGNPsM16RBGs51NAKZj98wEcepaEig/s1600/homemadecroutons.jpg "I Want These Every Day [homemade croutons] | Use up those bread ends for croutons - it's quick and easy and delicious! | Anxiously Being Havok")
Except not any more.
Because a little while ago, I read over at Medium Sized Family that Jamie saves the bread ends in the freezer and makes croutons with them.
What?!
This is a thing?!
Why did nobody tell me this?!
Also, why are there so many things in life that nobody tells me. It's normally things that just seem normal that everyone I tell responds with "yeah, that's a thing, I thought you knew" - we should just assume by now that I don't know and any awesome information like this needs to be shared with me!
Either way, croutons.
Oh man.
I will gladly eat any and all croutons as a snack, because deliciously seasoned bread bits. I mean, that's all the reason one needs, right? I don't buy them often, though, even though they are decently priced, because we have so many other things that need to be purchased, which doesn't leave any room for them.
But to make my own? With bread I'm not already using? C'mon, that's a dream come true!
So, for a few weeks, I saved up bread ends in the freezer. I even had a few non-ends stashed away, as one loaf sat for a little too long.
Finally, the other day I took them all out and said "today's the day!"
And it was. Oh, it was. It was the very best day.
![I Want These Every Day [homemade croutons] | Use up those bread ends for croutons - it's quick and easy and delicious! | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbqU_nbszzjDFTtVVmcjqGfnX0-BR9N9jPXlplTd7HR7jVVQqYxB1v5PVQOK6Wy7sdDYn6VL6vIxsHczwRE0jKqTScV8Sx4YcogBxQUWJPc4igH7ct5gHHKuIBKwax7QIzB4jB6aiksqw_/s1600/croutonsinbowl.jpg "I Want These Every Day [homemade croutons] | Use up those bread ends for croutons - it's quick and easy and delicious! | Anxiously Being Havok")
I used the recipe that The Pioneer Woman has on her blog, except I skipped the cheese (which is an odd thing for me to say, right?).
I had well over 3 cups of bread bits, so I ended up using double the amount of olive oil, and just seasoned with garlic and onion powder, as I would anything else (read: lots and lots).
My only issue with making the recipe has nothing to do with the recipe itself, but my lack of proper cookware. I don't have an actual cookie sheet, but one of those metal pizza pans, which was not quite large enough for the quantity of croutons I was making.
I had to leave them in the oven for about twice as long as the recipe suggests, and even then not all the pieces were perfect crunchy (but I prefer squishier croutons to hard-as-a-rock ones anyway).
Then they come out of the oven, and my house smelled like bliss. And then I was as happy was I could possibly be.
They were delicious. Amazingly so. And I had a whole bowl! Except I would not recommend making a whole bowl at a time, because then that means you have a whole bowl of croutons...which, at least for me, means I want to eat said whole bowl of croutons, if you catch my drift.
![I Want These Every Day [homemade croutons] | Use up those bread ends for croutons - it's quick and easy and delicious! | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP0MImglXTo9D9YG6zets4xO4VPbhLfyWKy7gJrGloYH723rzgIcicE7PZe9la33JWFDdjWMCO8rCPlt_98I0seQ4SYqdt5mjuyD49WFltVGo9Jna9Gs-fjzHOpbJ2lIDNsDZXkuqMeg1I/s1600/croutonsdone.jpg "I Want These Every Day [homemade croutons] | Use up those bread ends for croutons - it's quick and easy and delicious! | Anxiously Being Havok")
My biggest problem with this, though?
They don't last.
No, not because I ate them all, but because the next day they were no longer crunchy. I'm guessing it had partly to do with them not getting cooked all the way the first day in the first place, and partly to do with they don't have the preservatives that store bought ones do to keep them crunchy. Even the day I made them, they were starting to get kind of sad in the evening after having been perfectly fresh a few hours before.
Which just means that I need to make them in smaller batches and more frequently.
Darn. Whatever will I do?
Are there any other "yeah, that's a thing, I thought you knew" kinds of things that I need to be aware of? What other kinds of seasonings would you add to croutons?
~ Havok
Now, many many years later, while bread ends aren't gross or anything, they're not as tasty - I blame it on the fact that I buy the 99 cent bread versus the much better stuff (I would eat potato bread bread ends every day if I could!). So, for the last long while, I've not been eating them (it's shameful to waste food, I know, but most of the time, once we're at the end of a loaf of bread, it's starting to go stale, anyway).
Except not any more.
Because a little while ago, I read over at Medium Sized Family that Jamie saves the bread ends in the freezer and makes croutons with them.
What?!
This is a thing?!
Why did nobody tell me this?!
Also, why are there so many things in life that nobody tells me. It's normally things that just seem normal that everyone I tell responds with "yeah, that's a thing, I thought you knew" - we should just assume by now that I don't know and any awesome information like this needs to be shared with me!
Either way, croutons.
Oh man.
I will gladly eat any and all croutons as a snack, because deliciously seasoned bread bits. I mean, that's all the reason one needs, right? I don't buy them often, though, even though they are decently priced, because we have so many other things that need to be purchased, which doesn't leave any room for them.
But to make my own? With bread I'm not already using? C'mon, that's a dream come true!
So, for a few weeks, I saved up bread ends in the freezer. I even had a few non-ends stashed away, as one loaf sat for a little too long.
Finally, the other day I took them all out and said "today's the day!"
And it was. Oh, it was. It was the very best day.
I used the recipe that The Pioneer Woman has on her blog, except I skipped the cheese (which is an odd thing for me to say, right?).
I had well over 3 cups of bread bits, so I ended up using double the amount of olive oil, and just seasoned with garlic and onion powder, as I would anything else (read: lots and lots).
My only issue with making the recipe has nothing to do with the recipe itself, but my lack of proper cookware. I don't have an actual cookie sheet, but one of those metal pizza pans, which was not quite large enough for the quantity of croutons I was making.
I had to leave them in the oven for about twice as long as the recipe suggests, and even then not all the pieces were perfect crunchy (but I prefer squishier croutons to hard-as-a-rock ones anyway).
Then they come out of the oven, and my house smelled like bliss. And then I was as happy was I could possibly be.
They were delicious. Amazingly so. And I had a whole bowl! Except I would not recommend making a whole bowl at a time, because then that means you have a whole bowl of croutons...which, at least for me, means I want to eat said whole bowl of croutons, if you catch my drift.
My biggest problem with this, though?
They don't last.
No, not because I ate them all, but because the next day they were no longer crunchy. I'm guessing it had partly to do with them not getting cooked all the way the first day in the first place, and partly to do with they don't have the preservatives that store bought ones do to keep them crunchy. Even the day I made them, they were starting to get kind of sad in the evening after having been perfectly fresh a few hours before.
Which just means that I need to make them in smaller batches and more frequently.
Darn. Whatever will I do?
Are there any other "yeah, that's a thing, I thought you knew" kinds of things that I need to be aware of? What other kinds of seasonings would you add to croutons?
~ Havok
If you liked this post, check out these other posts!
Pepperoni Roll Ups - Sunday Foodie Bits
[Edit 5/23/2016: Added to You're Gonna Love It link party, Show & Tell link party, and Projects Inspired link party]
[Edit 5/24/2016: Added to Moonlight & Mason Jars link party]
[Edit 5/26/2016: Added to Blogger's Pit Stop link party and What to do Weekends link party]
[Edit 5/24/2016: Added to Moonlight & Mason Jars link party]
[Edit 5/26/2016: Added to Blogger's Pit Stop link party and What to do Weekends link party]
Friday, May 20, 2016
High Hopes [a reflection on house and home]
Back before I started this blog, I had tried to get organized (in the most serious of ways). I was trying to do meal planning, was trying to keep the house clean, was trying to just, well, be an adult who gets adult stuff done.
Then I thought of starting a blog, because that would keep me accountable, right?
Except, you see, I also thought that blogging would light a fire under me and force me to do all of those things.
I inwardly hoped (without actually saying it) that blogging would magically turn me into a domestic goddess.
![High Hopes [a reflection on house and home] | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEAkwWMCL08re5Wh3gLMCvIj6mgyhRglCbyrjYtUuMXTzr2XaWUuppqWCwS8u9Niajtzb9qOG6p6b1Zi9Z3oFQR2i2HvLhccaDzM0iPWibzaYxQPfUq0f2Y_XyJtkLlEytapHwjXv2NpW7/s1600/highhopes.jpg "High Hopes [a reflection on house and home] | Anxiously Being Havok")
Ha. Hahaha. Ha.
Oh, that's funny.
Because that's, ha, obviously not the case. I mean, it's not the exact opposite (though it has seemed as such at times!), but any improvements that have happened haven't been because of blogging.
They've been because I finally got so sick and tired of doing what I had been doing (or, not doing).
I always (and I mean always) had hopes of having a perfect house.
It would be clean and shiny, and the kitchen would be great and there would be delicious things in it all the time, and there'd never be clean clothes just hanging out in the dryer, and I would be able to always recall the last time I changed the sheets, and all sorts of random stuff that one thinks of when they think of a "perfect house."
And, if you've been here before, you are probably aware that none of that is true.
My counters are currently shiny, because I cleaned them today and haven't cooked anything since (though once it's dinner time, they'll no longer be shiny, as I'm still a messy cook). There is nothing delicious in my kitchen right now - unless frozen pizza counts? There aren't actually clean clothes in my dryer, thank goodness, but I still don't always put away everything once the dryer is done. The last time I changed the sheets, though, was last Friday. But the time before that? Uh, no idea - let's not discuss it.
I can do the dishes every day, sure. But I have to force myself to vacuum. I haven't moped in ages. I have piles all over our office, of just stuff that I think I need to have about all the time. And while I mostly cook dinner regularly, I did mention I had frozen pizza, right? And not the good kind, either, but the 1$ kind that never really counts as a meal if you split it for two people.
Nothing in this realm has gone as planned.
I'm not sad about it, nor am I disappointed about it. I just know now that nothing was going to make any of the good home bits happen unless I actually, you know, got off my butt and got it done. There is no magic switch, there is no random creation of motivation no matter how much you're pushed, and there is no overnight change in habit.
The whole thing is still a work in progress.
I'm better than I used to be, but in no way could I even try and enter the domestic goddess ranks. Which is fine. Maybe, eventually, I'll get there. For now, I'm just going to focus on the basics that I still need to improve on (like vacuuming every week and washing the sheets more than once every few months) and get those to be just as easy as doing the dishes every night.
I mean, what else is there to do?
But, I mean, it'll happen eventually, right?
~ Havok
Then I thought of starting a blog, because that would keep me accountable, right?
Except, you see, I also thought that blogging would light a fire under me and force me to do all of those things.
I inwardly hoped (without actually saying it) that blogging would magically turn me into a domestic goddess.
Ha. Hahaha. Ha.
Oh, that's funny.
Because that's, ha, obviously not the case. I mean, it's not the exact opposite (though it has seemed as such at times!), but any improvements that have happened haven't been because of blogging.
They've been because I finally got so sick and tired of doing what I had been doing (or, not doing).
I always (and I mean always) had hopes of having a perfect house.
It would be clean and shiny, and the kitchen would be great and there would be delicious things in it all the time, and there'd never be clean clothes just hanging out in the dryer, and I would be able to always recall the last time I changed the sheets, and all sorts of random stuff that one thinks of when they think of a "perfect house."
And, if you've been here before, you are probably aware that none of that is true.
My counters are currently shiny, because I cleaned them today and haven't cooked anything since (though once it's dinner time, they'll no longer be shiny, as I'm still a messy cook). There is nothing delicious in my kitchen right now - unless frozen pizza counts? There aren't actually clean clothes in my dryer, thank goodness, but I still don't always put away everything once the dryer is done. The last time I changed the sheets, though, was last Friday. But the time before that? Uh, no idea - let's not discuss it.
I can do the dishes every day, sure. But I have to force myself to vacuum. I haven't moped in ages. I have piles all over our office, of just stuff that I think I need to have about all the time. And while I mostly cook dinner regularly, I did mention I had frozen pizza, right? And not the good kind, either, but the 1$ kind that never really counts as a meal if you split it for two people.
Nothing in this realm has gone as planned.
I'm not sad about it, nor am I disappointed about it. I just know now that nothing was going to make any of the good home bits happen unless I actually, you know, got off my butt and got it done. There is no magic switch, there is no random creation of motivation no matter how much you're pushed, and there is no overnight change in habit.
The whole thing is still a work in progress.
I'm better than I used to be, but in no way could I even try and enter the domestic goddess ranks. Which is fine. Maybe, eventually, I'll get there. For now, I'm just going to focus on the basics that I still need to improve on (like vacuuming every week and washing the sheets more than once every few months) and get those to be just as easy as doing the dishes every night.
I mean, what else is there to do?
But, I mean, it'll happen eventually, right?
~ Havok
If you liked this post, check out these other posts!
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
A Week of Yoga
My body kind of hates me.
And I decided to try yoga for a week. Because, sometimes, I make some silly decisions. This one, though, was silly to start with and then turned into a fantastic one.
Of course, though, this isn't done in a gym or anything (leave my house for more than I have to? No thanks), but at home, using an app on my phone. The app I'm using is Daily Yoga - Get Fit & Relaxed, and the "course" I started with was "Yoga during Menstruation" because that sounded like the kind of thing that could come in handy. The course is 7 days/sessions long, and each day has it's own video to watch that you follow along with.
And those 7 days and sessions have passed and now I'm onto the beginner course (which, really, I should have started with, but oh well).
Because, well, it was actually enjoyable. And I'm wanting to do more.
But, a few things I learned from this past week - some surprising, some not.
First: each session is about 20 minutes long. I have 20 minutes to spare each day (and then some, really), and there's no travel time to account for, no getting ready other than starting the app and getting headphones to hear the video with. Which is my kind of commitment level.
Second: some of the sessions ended with laying on the floor for two or three minutes. Yeah, no, I'm serious. There's a "pose" called "corpse pose" and it's laying on the floor on your back. And some of the videos had you end with that, for a few minutes, with your eyes closed, just laying and breathing. And while I didn't know any of that going into it, this information certainly would have helped me make the decision to start a lot sooner! Because this lying on the floor was actually part of the run time of the session for the day - so a 20 minute session that has 3 minutes at the end of lying on the floor is even less exhausting.
Third: my posture is crap. I mean absolute crap. My back has hurt more frequently this past week because of this nonsense. However, it's only hurt while trying to have good posture. And once the session is over, and I'm back to slouching, I'm fine. I have been, however, trying to make more of an effort to sit at least halfway decently throughout the day. As I'm typing this up, my back is killing me, but only because I'm trying to have good posture (or, at least, better posture).
Fourth: my body is just, really, not all that great. There are some stretches or poses or whatever you want to call them that I just cannot do. My body doesn't move that way. So I do as much of each stretch as I can, for as long as I can manage for that bit, and have been hoping for the best. And from what I've heard and read, that's pretty much par for the course - do what you can, adjust for what you can't, and build up to it. A lot of the stretches that involve sitting on the floor with your legs stretched out I have a problem with - it kills the back of my knees. The voice over lady kindly suggests bending your knees if your back hurts too much for those kinds of stretches, which I laughed at because my problem was my knees, not my back.
Fifth: it's actually a pretty darned good way to start the day. For the most part (6 of the 7 days) I did the session for the day shortly after getting up and out of bed. It also helps that this means the dogs are still in bed (because the Mister is still in bed) and they won't be thinking that I'm on the floor to play or pet or love on them. But it's just relaxing enough to do while still groggy, while also enough movement to actually be awake and ready to get things done by the time the session is over.
Sixth: it's really easy to not be aware of what your body is capable of. I had no idea my flexibility was so bad. But, it truly is. And that's kind of sad, really. I was never very flexible when I was a kid (when a person is usually the most bendy), but what I could do is no longer an option! And while flexibility may not be something you think about being important, I'm learning that's not the case. Bending over, for example - you can do it with your knees or with your back...or, with your hips. Your legs can stay straight, and your back can stay straight, and you can just bend over from your hip region. Well, okay, some people can. I cannot really do that yet. I can get a little ways, and then my back wants to get all curled over. But, just like with anything else, practice makes perfect (or, at least, progress) and maybe at some point in the future I'll be able to bend over and touch the floor again. Because that'd be cool.
Seventh: deep breathing is kind of amazing. Deep breaths, through your nose, with your inhalations and exhalations equal in length...that's some magic shit right there. Which is a weird thing to say. Because I've been frustrated or angry or just instantly livid, and have tried the whole breathing and counting to ten nonsense before...and it was just that, nonsense. I figured it would still be nonsense, even paired with the stretches, but that's not the case. Abdominal breathing, the app calls it, and it's just that - breathing with the use of your abs. It's just complicated enough that you have to think about it, if you're not used to it, sort of like the meme about manual breathing or blinking (#sorrynotsorry). And, therefore, just complicated enough that you have to actually think about that and focus on it to be able to do it, which helps clear anything else from cropping up.
Eighth: it's made me find more yoga to do. I've started the beginner course with this app, and have downloaded another app (Track Yoga) that I'm doing in the evenings, which is very similar - 20-ish minute sessions, multiple courses you can "take" with videos to work along with. This second app is, so far, even heavier in the laying on the floor for a few minutes at the end of a session, so it's great to do in the evenings about an hour or two before bed.
I don't have any life changing results to share after only 7 days, but I do know that it has been worth the time and effort so far. I'm looking forward to continuing it, and hopefully regaining some range of motion, even.
And while my body still hates me, maybe it will hate me less as time goes on. That's all I'm really hoping for.
What about you? Have you tried yoga before? Did you enjoy it?
~ Havok
[Edit 5/22/2016: Added to The Creative Gallery link up]
And I decided to try yoga for a week. Because, sometimes, I make some silly decisions. This one, though, was silly to start with and then turned into a fantastic one.
Of course, though, this isn't done in a gym or anything (leave my house for more than I have to? No thanks), but at home, using an app on my phone. The app I'm using is Daily Yoga - Get Fit & Relaxed, and the "course" I started with was "Yoga during Menstruation" because that sounded like the kind of thing that could come in handy. The course is 7 days/sessions long, and each day has it's own video to watch that you follow along with.
And those 7 days and sessions have passed and now I'm onto the beginner course (which, really, I should have started with, but oh well).
Because, well, it was actually enjoyable. And I'm wanting to do more.
But, a few things I learned from this past week - some surprising, some not.
First: each session is about 20 minutes long. I have 20 minutes to spare each day (and then some, really), and there's no travel time to account for, no getting ready other than starting the app and getting headphones to hear the video with. Which is my kind of commitment level.
Second: some of the sessions ended with laying on the floor for two or three minutes. Yeah, no, I'm serious. There's a "pose" called "corpse pose" and it's laying on the floor on your back. And some of the videos had you end with that, for a few minutes, with your eyes closed, just laying and breathing. And while I didn't know any of that going into it, this information certainly would have helped me make the decision to start a lot sooner! Because this lying on the floor was actually part of the run time of the session for the day - so a 20 minute session that has 3 minutes at the end of lying on the floor is even less exhausting.
Third: my posture is crap. I mean absolute crap. My back has hurt more frequently this past week because of this nonsense. However, it's only hurt while trying to have good posture. And once the session is over, and I'm back to slouching, I'm fine. I have been, however, trying to make more of an effort to sit at least halfway decently throughout the day. As I'm typing this up, my back is killing me, but only because I'm trying to have good posture (or, at least, better posture).
Fourth: my body is just, really, not all that great. There are some stretches or poses or whatever you want to call them that I just cannot do. My body doesn't move that way. So I do as much of each stretch as I can, for as long as I can manage for that bit, and have been hoping for the best. And from what I've heard and read, that's pretty much par for the course - do what you can, adjust for what you can't, and build up to it. A lot of the stretches that involve sitting on the floor with your legs stretched out I have a problem with - it kills the back of my knees. The voice over lady kindly suggests bending your knees if your back hurts too much for those kinds of stretches, which I laughed at because my problem was my knees, not my back.
Fifth: it's actually a pretty darned good way to start the day. For the most part (6 of the 7 days) I did the session for the day shortly after getting up and out of bed. It also helps that this means the dogs are still in bed (because the Mister is still in bed) and they won't be thinking that I'm on the floor to play or pet or love on them. But it's just relaxing enough to do while still groggy, while also enough movement to actually be awake and ready to get things done by the time the session is over.
Sixth: it's really easy to not be aware of what your body is capable of. I had no idea my flexibility was so bad. But, it truly is. And that's kind of sad, really. I was never very flexible when I was a kid (when a person is usually the most bendy), but what I could do is no longer an option! And while flexibility may not be something you think about being important, I'm learning that's not the case. Bending over, for example - you can do it with your knees or with your back...or, with your hips. Your legs can stay straight, and your back can stay straight, and you can just bend over from your hip region. Well, okay, some people can. I cannot really do that yet. I can get a little ways, and then my back wants to get all curled over. But, just like with anything else, practice makes perfect (or, at least, progress) and maybe at some point in the future I'll be able to bend over and touch the floor again. Because that'd be cool.
Seventh: deep breathing is kind of amazing. Deep breaths, through your nose, with your inhalations and exhalations equal in length...that's some magic shit right there. Which is a weird thing to say. Because I've been frustrated or angry or just instantly livid, and have tried the whole breathing and counting to ten nonsense before...and it was just that, nonsense. I figured it would still be nonsense, even paired with the stretches, but that's not the case. Abdominal breathing, the app calls it, and it's just that - breathing with the use of your abs. It's just complicated enough that you have to think about it, if you're not used to it, sort of like the meme about manual breathing or blinking (#sorrynotsorry). And, therefore, just complicated enough that you have to actually think about that and focus on it to be able to do it, which helps clear anything else from cropping up.
Eighth: it's made me find more yoga to do. I've started the beginner course with this app, and have downloaded another app (Track Yoga) that I'm doing in the evenings, which is very similar - 20-ish minute sessions, multiple courses you can "take" with videos to work along with. This second app is, so far, even heavier in the laying on the floor for a few minutes at the end of a session, so it's great to do in the evenings about an hour or two before bed.
I don't have any life changing results to share after only 7 days, but I do know that it has been worth the time and effort so far. I'm looking forward to continuing it, and hopefully regaining some range of motion, even.
And while my body still hates me, maybe it will hate me less as time goes on. That's all I'm really hoping for.
What about you? Have you tried yoga before? Did you enjoy it?
~ Havok
If you liked this post, check out these posts!
[Edit 5/22/2016: Added to The Creative Gallery link up]
Monday, May 16, 2016
Writing Should Not Be Complicated
Journaling is a wonderful thing, as I've mentioned before.
There are so many uses for it, so many different ways you can go about it.
And, at the same time, so many ways to get overwhelmed.
Some people fear a blank page.
Some people worry about other people finding and/or reading what they've written.
Some people think their handwriting isn't good enough, or their days aren't worth capturing.
And then there's people like me, who love journaling, have all sorts of notebooks and pages and journals that we work in from time to time and spend a lot of time worrying about making sure that whatever vessel we choose is the right one.
Which is where I'm at right now.
How in the heck are you supposed to choose which notebook is going to be the right one?
I've not figured that out.
And so, I spent the better part of the beginning of last week on the subject. It was very overwhelming.
Do I use my ARC junior? It's a nice size, though I have to use heavier weighted paper in it for it to work nicely as I don't have any of their special paper in that size.
Do I use my Field Notes size traveler's notebook? Though the pages are small, filling up a notebook quickly is kind of a pleasure all in its own. I've got a few empty ones on hand, it'd be quick and easy to start.
Do I use a standard size traveler's notebook? Oh, but which one? And what insert? Do I use a Midori one, or print up some grid paper and make my own? Would it be worth sacrificing a Midori one for, in the case I don't fill it up for months and months (because of lack of use, as I'm used to doing)? Or is it worth going to the trouble to print grid paper, cut to size, and staple together a notebook for something that may not be used for more than a few days?
What about my full size ARC notebook? I haven't used that in ages, and I feel bad having it just sit around empty. I have tons of refill paper for it; though if I were to keep it close at hand, it does take up a lot of room.
After a few days of that off and on, I said "screw it, I can't take it any more." It was much too much to choose from.
So, I grabbed some loose-leaf lined paper from a binder and just wrote down what needed to get out of my head. And it felt so nice to just get all that stuff out, but also to have that "which is best?!" concern gone as well.
"Which is best?!?" is really a horrible question.
It serves no purpose other than to get nothing done and create extra worry and stress. There's no need for it, but I've yet to not find it along the way.
Growing up, I was able to write in whatever was handy, no concern of places or organization or anything. Spiral notebooks, actual journals, regular lined paper - if it was lined in any way and it wasn't specifically for a class at school, you can bet I filled it up.
There was no concern about anything, other than writing stuff down. It was great!
And it only became un-great when I found all these other and "better" ways to do it.
It got complicated. Needlessly so, I do believe.
Because, really, what difference does it make where I write down that I need to remember to take meat out of the freezer for dinner, or that I needed to grab recipes off Pinterest, or to remember to brush my teeth (because sometimes I forget), and to tell myself to take an evening mostly away from the computer.
It doesn't matter where all that goes, it just needs to get out of my head and onto paper.
So, for now, regular lined paper it shall be. Messy and scribbled and filled with whatever comes out my head onto the page.
I can't care any more about it being the perfect place for it. It's a waste of mental energy, and it's really quite a silly question anyway - especially considering that I've never actually had a problem using any of the systems I've used before, just a matter of wanting something better.
Better, really, should only mean out of your head and onto paper. Best is when you can find it again. Pretty sure that applies across the board.
What about you? Do you battle the where-do-I-put-this? Or do you have the greatest journaling system you could ever want?
~ Havok
P.S. I will admit, I'm dating everything and taking notes on things and being my normal self in that manner, but I'm also numbering the pages and creating an index as I go along (sort of like a bullet journal) - as being able to find what I wrote is important to me. However, that doesn't take away from the fact that plain lined paper does the job just darned fine.
There are so many uses for it, so many different ways you can go about it.
And, at the same time, so many ways to get overwhelmed.
Some people fear a blank page.
Some people worry about other people finding and/or reading what they've written.
Some people think their handwriting isn't good enough, or their days aren't worth capturing.
And then there's people like me, who love journaling, have all sorts of notebooks and pages and journals that we work in from time to time and spend a lot of time worrying about making sure that whatever vessel we choose is the right one.
Which is where I'm at right now.
How in the heck are you supposed to choose which notebook is going to be the right one?
I've not figured that out.
And so, I spent the better part of the beginning of last week on the subject. It was very overwhelming.
Do I use my ARC junior? It's a nice size, though I have to use heavier weighted paper in it for it to work nicely as I don't have any of their special paper in that size.
Do I use my Field Notes size traveler's notebook? Though the pages are small, filling up a notebook quickly is kind of a pleasure all in its own. I've got a few empty ones on hand, it'd be quick and easy to start.
Do I use a standard size traveler's notebook? Oh, but which one? And what insert? Do I use a Midori one, or print up some grid paper and make my own? Would it be worth sacrificing a Midori one for, in the case I don't fill it up for months and months (because of lack of use, as I'm used to doing)? Or is it worth going to the trouble to print grid paper, cut to size, and staple together a notebook for something that may not be used for more than a few days?
What about my full size ARC notebook? I haven't used that in ages, and I feel bad having it just sit around empty. I have tons of refill paper for it; though if I were to keep it close at hand, it does take up a lot of room.
After a few days of that off and on, I said "screw it, I can't take it any more." It was much too much to choose from.
So, I grabbed some loose-leaf lined paper from a binder and just wrote down what needed to get out of my head. And it felt so nice to just get all that stuff out, but also to have that "which is best?!" concern gone as well.
"Which is best?!?" is really a horrible question.
It serves no purpose other than to get nothing done and create extra worry and stress. There's no need for it, but I've yet to not find it along the way.
Growing up, I was able to write in whatever was handy, no concern of places or organization or anything. Spiral notebooks, actual journals, regular lined paper - if it was lined in any way and it wasn't specifically for a class at school, you can bet I filled it up.
There was no concern about anything, other than writing stuff down. It was great!
And it only became un-great when I found all these other and "better" ways to do it.
It got complicated. Needlessly so, I do believe.
Because, really, what difference does it make where I write down that I need to remember to take meat out of the freezer for dinner, or that I needed to grab recipes off Pinterest, or to remember to brush my teeth (because sometimes I forget), and to tell myself to take an evening mostly away from the computer.
It doesn't matter where all that goes, it just needs to get out of my head and onto paper.
So, for now, regular lined paper it shall be. Messy and scribbled and filled with whatever comes out my head onto the page.
I can't care any more about it being the perfect place for it. It's a waste of mental energy, and it's really quite a silly question anyway - especially considering that I've never actually had a problem using any of the systems I've used before, just a matter of wanting something better.
Better, really, should only mean out of your head and onto paper. Best is when you can find it again. Pretty sure that applies across the board.
What about you? Do you battle the where-do-I-put-this? Or do you have the greatest journaling system you could ever want?
~ Havok
P.S. I will admit, I'm dating everything and taking notes on things and being my normal self in that manner, but I'm also numbering the pages and creating an index as I go along (sort of like a bullet journal) - as being able to find what I wrote is important to me. However, that doesn't take away from the fact that plain lined paper does the job just darned fine.
If you liked this post, check out these other posts!
Everything Together [or, simple is good]
[Edit 5/16/2016: Added to Show & Tell link party and Projects Inspired link party]
[Edit: 5/17/2016: Added to Moonlight & Mason Jars link party and The Alder Collective link party]
[Edit: 5/17/2016: Added to Moonlight & Mason Jars link party and The Alder Collective link party]
Friday, May 13, 2016
Why I Don't Bake (often)
I'm a fan of baked goods.
Cookies, cake, bread, baked macaroni and cheese even.
It's a wonderful thing, I assure you.
However, for the longest time, I refused to do any baking.
Because whatever I would make wasn't getting eaten.
Let me back track.
I would gladly eat whatever I decided to make (that's how it works, right?), but the Mister wasn't on board. Oh, sure, he would have some when whatever it was first done, and he would say it was good. And then that was it.
And, let me tell you, while it may seem like not a bad deal (hey, more for me, right?) it made no sense to spend all that time for it to be not by enjoyed by the other human in my house.
So, no baking.
No point in wasting that time, the ingredients, and my energy, on something that he wouldn't partake in, right?
Also, a few years back, I tried canning. Which wasn't necessarily smart, because I had to buy the fruits to do it with, but it was fun.
I made apple sauce, apple juice, and apple butter. Oh it was a long afternoon and while my house smelled amazing, it was a lot of clean up!
I ended up with a cupboard of apple goods, and I was so excited.
That night, we tried some of the juice and apple sauce, while the apple butter was in the crockpot, and it was delicious (and the Mister agreed).
Then, it stayed in the cupboard for way too long. Oh, I tried to eat and drink it, sure, but it was a lot of work to end up sitting in a cupboard, or to only enjoy myself (especially after being told it was good!).
And that was the last canning I've done.
I still have my water bath canning pot, it's sitting on top of the fridge right now. And I have everything I would need if I wanted to do it again (besides needing more lid sealing bits). But I have no desire to do it again right now (aside from the fact I would, again, have to buy fruits to do it with).
Because I would be the only one to eat it.
Is all that effort with it?
For canning? That's a lot of work (and a lot of heat in the kitchen, too!).
For baking? While not nearly as much work, makes an awfully large mess on it's own.
And then getting through all the finished product?
Heck, to make jam, you'll end up with at least 6 little jars - that's a lot of the same kind of jam.
And to bake banana bread? That needs to be eaten within a few days before it starts to get not-as-fresh tasting. And while delicious, that's a lot of bread to get through in 4 days all by yourself!
So, I stopped doing it.
Oh, from time to time, I'd bake something because I really, really wanted to. And like all the other times, I'd basically be eating it myself.
But you know what?
I don't care any more.
If I want zucchini bread, I'm going to make it. And if that means I'm going to have to eat that whole loaf by myself (over the course of a few days, of course), then by golly that's what's going to happen. And it will be delicious and if the Mister doesn't want that experience, that sucks for him.
If I want cookies? Same deal. I have the resources to make that happen. It's something I enjoy doing. And if I have to enjoy it myself? So what.
Enjoyment should be had. Deliciousness should be experienced.
Even if that means you're all on your own for it.
So, I've got some bananas in my kitchen, and in another day or two they'll be perfect for bread. And I'm going to bake bread. And it'll be amazing (the trick is slightly more vanilla and milk!).
I may have to have banana bread at breakfast and lunch for the better part of a week, but there was fun had in the creation of it, as well as in consuming it. Even if that means I'm on my own in that happiness.
I'm okay with that.
I'm also okay with finding new things to bake, so if you have any suggestions, please let me know! Or, any suggestions on how to get cheap fruit for canning!
~ Havok
Cookies, cake, bread, baked macaroni and cheese even.
It's a wonderful thing, I assure you.
However, for the longest time, I refused to do any baking.
Because whatever I would make wasn't getting eaten.
Let me back track.
I would gladly eat whatever I decided to make (that's how it works, right?), but the Mister wasn't on board. Oh, sure, he would have some when whatever it was first done, and he would say it was good. And then that was it.
And, let me tell you, while it may seem like not a bad deal (hey, more for me, right?) it made no sense to spend all that time for it to be not by enjoyed by the other human in my house.
So, no baking.
No point in wasting that time, the ingredients, and my energy, on something that he wouldn't partake in, right?
Also, a few years back, I tried canning. Which wasn't necessarily smart, because I had to buy the fruits to do it with, but it was fun.
I made apple sauce, apple juice, and apple butter. Oh it was a long afternoon and while my house smelled amazing, it was a lot of clean up!
I ended up with a cupboard of apple goods, and I was so excited.
That night, we tried some of the juice and apple sauce, while the apple butter was in the crockpot, and it was delicious (and the Mister agreed).
Then, it stayed in the cupboard for way too long. Oh, I tried to eat and drink it, sure, but it was a lot of work to end up sitting in a cupboard, or to only enjoy myself (especially after being told it was good!).
And that was the last canning I've done.
I still have my water bath canning pot, it's sitting on top of the fridge right now. And I have everything I would need if I wanted to do it again (besides needing more lid sealing bits). But I have no desire to do it again right now (aside from the fact I would, again, have to buy fruits to do it with).
Because I would be the only one to eat it.
Is all that effort with it?
For canning? That's a lot of work (and a lot of heat in the kitchen, too!).
For baking? While not nearly as much work, makes an awfully large mess on it's own.
And then getting through all the finished product?
Heck, to make jam, you'll end up with at least 6 little jars - that's a lot of the same kind of jam.
And to bake banana bread? That needs to be eaten within a few days before it starts to get not-as-fresh tasting. And while delicious, that's a lot of bread to get through in 4 days all by yourself!
So, I stopped doing it.
Oh, from time to time, I'd bake something because I really, really wanted to. And like all the other times, I'd basically be eating it myself.
But you know what?
I don't care any more.
If I want zucchini bread, I'm going to make it. And if that means I'm going to have to eat that whole loaf by myself (over the course of a few days, of course), then by golly that's what's going to happen. And it will be delicious and if the Mister doesn't want that experience, that sucks for him.
If I want cookies? Same deal. I have the resources to make that happen. It's something I enjoy doing. And if I have to enjoy it myself? So what.
Enjoyment should be had. Deliciousness should be experienced.
Even if that means you're all on your own for it.
So, I've got some bananas in my kitchen, and in another day or two they'll be perfect for bread. And I'm going to bake bread. And it'll be amazing (the trick is slightly more vanilla and milk!).
I may have to have banana bread at breakfast and lunch for the better part of a week, but there was fun had in the creation of it, as well as in consuming it. Even if that means I'm on my own in that happiness.
I'm okay with that.
I'm also okay with finding new things to bake, so if you have any suggestions, please let me know! Or, any suggestions on how to get cheap fruit for canning!
~ Havok
And if you liked this post, check out these other posts!
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Grilled Cheese & Quesadillas - the best way ever
We are cheese eaters.
Right now, I have two opened 16 ounce packages (one cheddar, one pepperjack) in the fridge, as well as one unopened 16 ounce package and two 8 ounce packages of pepperjack (because sales, guys). And in the next week or two, cheese will be on sale again, and I will buy more.
I like to think of it as a stash, but, really, it gets eaten quick enough to be considered just normal stock for us.
This leads to having grilled cheese or quesadillas quite frequently. They are meal plan and snacking staples.
Not only are they simple to make, but they're using things we always have on hand (which means even if there "isn't anything to eat," we normally have cheese and bread and tortillas).
For years, however, I've been doing this the hard way, and the not-as-delicious way.
Let's start with grilled cheese.
Growing up, my parents had a griddle thing, which was used for pancakes and grilled cheese sandwiches. Which was convenient - it had just enough space to make enough of either for the three of us without it taking forever.
However, I do not have such a wonderful device in my kitchen, so I've been making these delicious sandwiches in a pan on the stove. Not only is that not as scientific (the guessing of "is it done?" leads to at least one side of each sandwich getting much toaster than I'd prefer) but it takes twice as long - since I can only make one sandwich at a time.
"But," you say, "why not use two different pans and do two at a time?" And I say "oh, but I've tried that, and it was more complicated than it was worth."
The other week, I decided there had to be a better way, and I looked up "grilled cheese in the oven" and Google was full of results - I was in amazement. My world was opening up before me. It was glorious.
I followed the instructions and put them sandwiches in the oven. about 10 minutes later, I had two sandwiches, done to perfection. Less time, less "is it done?!" and less darkly toasted bread.
You start out the same, with sliced cheese and butter on the outsides of the bread and then assemble said sandwiches on a cookie-sheet type pan and stick in the oven for about 5 minutes at 450 degrees. Flip the sandwiches. Put back in for a few minutes more.
Done. Perfection.
Now, onto quesadillas.
Which I had been making in the microwave. Not nearly as delicious as it should be - the tortillas don't get crispy and the cheese isn't always melted thoroughly.
But in the oven? Crispy deliciousness! And, even better, you can make more at one time! And that, my friends, is kind of the best gift of all (but crispy tortillas is a very, very close second).
And it's just as simple as the grilled cheese - put some vegetable or olive oil or whatever on the outsides of your tortillas, put your cheese and whatever for the insides where you need that to go, and stick it in the oven (on the same kind of cookie-sheet type pan) for about 5 minutes at 450 degrees. Then flip them, and cook for another 5 minutes or so.
Take them out and enjoy. Because it doesn't get any easier than this.
The only sad part?
That it's taken me this long to figure it out!
What else should I be putting me in the oven? If you have any suggestions, let me know!
~ Havok
P.S. And, if you have not tried it before, you need to try adding cream cheese to your grilled cheese sandwiches. Because it's amazing. We recently had a friend over on an evening that was for dinner, and after consuming one in that manner he said it was amazing. And it is. Seriously.
Right now, I have two opened 16 ounce packages (one cheddar, one pepperjack) in the fridge, as well as one unopened 16 ounce package and two 8 ounce packages of pepperjack (because sales, guys). And in the next week or two, cheese will be on sale again, and I will buy more.
I like to think of it as a stash, but, really, it gets eaten quick enough to be considered just normal stock for us.
This leads to having grilled cheese or quesadillas quite frequently. They are meal plan and snacking staples.
Not only are they simple to make, but they're using things we always have on hand (which means even if there "isn't anything to eat," we normally have cheese and bread and tortillas).
For years, however, I've been doing this the hard way, and the not-as-delicious way.
Let's start with grilled cheese.
Growing up, my parents had a griddle thing, which was used for pancakes and grilled cheese sandwiches. Which was convenient - it had just enough space to make enough of either for the three of us without it taking forever.
However, I do not have such a wonderful device in my kitchen, so I've been making these delicious sandwiches in a pan on the stove. Not only is that not as scientific (the guessing of "is it done?" leads to at least one side of each sandwich getting much toaster than I'd prefer) but it takes twice as long - since I can only make one sandwich at a time.
"But," you say, "why not use two different pans and do two at a time?" And I say "oh, but I've tried that, and it was more complicated than it was worth."
The other week, I decided there had to be a better way, and I looked up "grilled cheese in the oven" and Google was full of results - I was in amazement. My world was opening up before me. It was glorious.
I followed the instructions and put them sandwiches in the oven. about 10 minutes later, I had two sandwiches, done to perfection. Less time, less "is it done?!" and less darkly toasted bread.
You start out the same, with sliced cheese and butter on the outsides of the bread and then assemble said sandwiches on a cookie-sheet type pan and stick in the oven for about 5 minutes at 450 degrees. Flip the sandwiches. Put back in for a few minutes more.
Done. Perfection.
Now, onto quesadillas.
Which I had been making in the microwave. Not nearly as delicious as it should be - the tortillas don't get crispy and the cheese isn't always melted thoroughly.
But in the oven? Crispy deliciousness! And, even better, you can make more at one time! And that, my friends, is kind of the best gift of all (but crispy tortillas is a very, very close second).
And it's just as simple as the grilled cheese - put some vegetable or olive oil or whatever on the outsides of your tortillas, put your cheese and whatever for the insides where you need that to go, and stick it in the oven (on the same kind of cookie-sheet type pan) for about 5 minutes at 450 degrees. Then flip them, and cook for another 5 minutes or so.
Take them out and enjoy. Because it doesn't get any easier than this.
The only sad part?
That it's taken me this long to figure it out!
What else should I be putting me in the oven? If you have any suggestions, let me know!
~ Havok
P.S. And, if you have not tried it before, you need to try adding cream cheese to your grilled cheese sandwiches. Because it's amazing. We recently had a friend over on an evening that was for dinner, and after consuming one in that manner he said it was amazing. And it is. Seriously.
And if you liked this post, check out these other posts!
Monday, May 9, 2016
Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!]
Sewing by hand is hard, y'all.
Okay, it's not hard but man does it take a long, long time. So the decision that I would, well, sew something by hand was either really smart or really stupid.
I'm going to go with smart. Because I'm quite proud of having done it (after not having sewn anything in years) and it didn't really take a terribly long time (but much longer than it would have if I had a sewing machine!).
I had the idea of sewing up a wallet - the purse variety, not the fold up and stick in your pocket variety.
I found multiple patterns and tutorials and thought, well, I'm smart, I can figure it out...I'll just use some measurements and some photos for reference and just, well, wing it.
I'm not sure that was smart, however. I mean, it worked, technically, but not necessarily 100% the way I intended!
![Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!] | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_hMZQF_iz1jtD1IrVdbRUrd9m-kpiiN3vQuWjpa_PmFG-ZssvwV-zxpi10Ka48XfMhF6n-uo6xytEnt0SpJo90kYDi6QUCCyhHBFmqta5RmWptTLKIQ2jGopsgE1igBb9cfdxjaaQJ6At/s1600/IMG_20160505_110450444_HDR.jpg "Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!] | Anxiously Being Havok")
And, let's be honest, it's been a while since I've done any sort of sewing or fabric manipulation, so there were a few hiccups along the way - the first of which being cutting one piece an inch short (I was focused on getting a straight line, and thought I'd measured length...I hadn't).
But it worked out as the measurements given were awfully strange and extra large (and I never figured out where all that extra fabric was supposed to be) so the shorter cut turned out to be fine.
I made a card pocket, with two slots, a cash pocket (both on one side), and then another pocket on the opposite side.
I'm not sure I went about it properly, but there are pockets, and they are inside the wallet, not on the outside, so that's a success to me.
![Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!] | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiezhuJEcJCEsiXVuVh7E2o37Ce-CELTrj-LPwAS2f48yYz11PfHNaPAKM39jeeCdWN8YiUkSpWrmhtLiAqABC_2mazQUIyszR8TvAVNlgVsr_RVeodfsWapy2-dxFOoGFegyBVQWnuMM7-/s1600/IMG_20160501_150959561.jpg "Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!] | Anxiously Being Havok")
I got about halfway and bemoaned the lack of an iron.
It would have been easier to cut and measure everything, if it was ironed flat. And it would have been easier to get all the corners even and stitched together straight (no rippling, I mean) if the fabric was ironed.
Also, at about the halfway point (with the pockets attached at this point to the inside/backing), I was realizing that this wouldn't ever be anything that would leave the house. Because, in my brilliance, I did not have any sort of interfacing and this was going to be a very, very floppy wallet. Oh well.
Also, the decision on how to close the darned thing.
Oh there were instructions for elastic and buttons I had found, or snaps, or velcro, or anything. And I had none of those things, so it will just, well, fold over and be done.So, again, not something that can leave the house. More oh wells.
It was plain, though. And it needed some spicing up. So I added an applique "J" to the front. For one, because why not. And, two, because it would mean I'd have to learn blanket stitch (and, no, I'm fairly certain I've never done that one before).
![Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!] | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEMZwSSH74T0tMkXYBnY-Qd8pYRIDiHoM7BzxQVKtjIw-UqQfY_2aMA-P7ld8M1YkyoNTl-RDp_uz5HKmI0BTKD0220v5R8Pf3uI_u1o3Z9t_X60_7fUTdEhNEPivImA8DDVurMqIzlX1y/s1600/IMG_20160501_142951422.jpg "Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!] | Anxiously Being Havok")
It turned out alright, sure. After I cut out the letter the right way 'round! I traced on the back, the first time, with a J the right way...except, you know, on the back of the fabric. So, I had to do it again, and is just the kind of thing I was liable to do with this project.
![Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!] | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEaB-sJthTyWVerP6FBAxhSXZiqjULoBK0MsIDzKnPBF-ShlSr18g3mnXEgQUVccRf3VDSeILhVV78OAzBBLrL8NPXMD8gnnR-e54g_Sz0wl83XyqVkjZEO72HXDah9dWe7QGn8ABUb-65/s1600/IMG_20160501_150940147.jpg "Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!] | Anxiously Being Havok")
For final assembly, sewing up everything right sides in, I'm fairly certain those were my best and straightest stitches, which was nice. Until the end when, well, I left a gap that I thought would be large enough to turn it all right side out.
Apparently not so much. So I had to rip some out, then flip right side out, and sew up that gap - which I did not do so neatly.
![Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!] | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixZBNZaM0PbNb1EIKrWjFmL0cP3r0Aa0JO0atOVCo6a9daxtHxcUiHT_xNbxukzk13nUzGsNTz_L0BI455sCLShYiuMl-9KEp3zVHB1uZ0HwvSTff0O2CCPgunylmyRVveTb-D2C7wdPnV/s1600/IMG_20160505_110504643_HDR.jpg "Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!] | Anxiously Being Havok")
![Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!] | Anxiously Being Havok](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4tOZyygDcy_gJ_TbfbjJnKOcIYFpVJRZobOqcR0Cy-SZhzdj6s2Gf2nI4Azg4W8V6fXEZUD_LNneKJcV-weiWcgpqxhDN5srMYezf8GIffbJjKzEbGigGMbVo9E6izj-taiDcPGmj6-fq/s1600/IMG_20160505_110526783_HDR.jpg "Stitching and Finished Objects [successes, even!] | Anxiously Being Havok")
But it's done! And I'm pleased!
It brought some decent amount of soreness to my hands, but that was to be expected. And it didn't turn out nearly as nicely as I would have wanted, but that is to be expected for a wing-it kind of project, especially one of the first variety.
Though I do think I will take a break from sewing for a bit. The energy and excitement has run out, especially considering it takes so long. So, until a machine can be procured, I'll collect patterns and tutorials and dream of what else to make. If you have any suggestions for things of the simple beginner nature, please share them in the comments!
~ Havok
Okay, it's not hard but man does it take a long, long time. So the decision that I would, well, sew something by hand was either really smart or really stupid.
I'm going to go with smart. Because I'm quite proud of having done it (after not having sewn anything in years) and it didn't really take a terribly long time (but much longer than it would have if I had a sewing machine!).
I had the idea of sewing up a wallet - the purse variety, not the fold up and stick in your pocket variety.
I found multiple patterns and tutorials and thought, well, I'm smart, I can figure it out...I'll just use some measurements and some photos for reference and just, well, wing it.
I'm not sure that was smart, however. I mean, it worked, technically, but not necessarily 100% the way I intended!
And, let's be honest, it's been a while since I've done any sort of sewing or fabric manipulation, so there were a few hiccups along the way - the first of which being cutting one piece an inch short (I was focused on getting a straight line, and thought I'd measured length...I hadn't).
I made a card pocket, with two slots, a cash pocket (both on one side), and then another pocket on the opposite side.
I'm not sure I went about it properly, but there are pockets, and they are inside the wallet, not on the outside, so that's a success to me.
I got about halfway and bemoaned the lack of an iron.
It would have been easier to cut and measure everything, if it was ironed flat. And it would have been easier to get all the corners even and stitched together straight (no rippling, I mean) if the fabric was ironed.
Also, at about the halfway point (with the pockets attached at this point to the inside/backing), I was realizing that this wouldn't ever be anything that would leave the house. Because, in my brilliance, I did not have any sort of interfacing and this was going to be a very, very floppy wallet. Oh well.
Also, the decision on how to close the darned thing.
Oh there were instructions for elastic and buttons I had found, or snaps, or velcro, or anything. And I had none of those things, so it will just, well, fold over and be done.So, again, not something that can leave the house. More oh wells.
It was plain, though. And it needed some spicing up. So I added an applique "J" to the front. For one, because why not. And, two, because it would mean I'd have to learn blanket stitch (and, no, I'm fairly certain I've never done that one before).
It turned out alright, sure. After I cut out the letter the right way 'round! I traced on the back, the first time, with a J the right way...except, you know, on the back of the fabric. So, I had to do it again, and is just the kind of thing I was liable to do with this project.
For final assembly, sewing up everything right sides in, I'm fairly certain those were my best and straightest stitches, which was nice. Until the end when, well, I left a gap that I thought would be large enough to turn it all right side out.
Apparently not so much. So I had to rip some out, then flip right side out, and sew up that gap - which I did not do so neatly.
It brought some decent amount of soreness to my hands, but that was to be expected. And it didn't turn out nearly as nicely as I would have wanted, but that is to be expected for a wing-it kind of project, especially one of the first variety.
Though I do think I will take a break from sewing for a bit. The energy and excitement has run out, especially considering it takes so long. So, until a machine can be procured, I'll collect patterns and tutorials and dream of what else to make. If you have any suggestions for things of the simple beginner nature, please share them in the comments!
~ Havok
If you liked this post, check out these other posts!
Friday, May 6, 2016
Permaculture Course - Free from OSU
As of late, I've had an interest in growing vegetables and having chickens and all sorts of things.
There are, luckily, a ton of resources available to learn about this (online, of course), a lot of them for free. There are blogs run by homesteaders, books and ebooks about such living, and I've even had a perusal around a local farm supply type store (which had 6 week old bunnies, and they were so cute!), which had a million different kinds of feed for chickens, which was all very confusing!
Something else I found, and quite timely, was a one-month course put out through Oregon State University (the Beavers one; the Ducks are University of Oregon - which was quite a difficult thing to learn growing up, seeing as I had no interest in sports to have the easy way of keeping them straight!).
The course is called Intro to Permaculture Design, and I had no idea what that meant. But, it was recommended on Reddit, through the rabbit hole of the Internet that started on r/Homestead. The course description, however, says that "Permaculture design is a method of landscape planning that can be applied to anything" and that the principles "take into account such things as how indigenous people used the land," and can be used "from a home garden or a farm to a city block or entire village." Which, let's be honest, that sounds pretty darn cool, right?!
The course is free! And available to anyone, so long as you sign up! Enrollment is open still, even!
There are videos to watch, with tons of links for extended reading. The only real "work" you have to do is do some discussion questions, and then complete a basic plan of a selected location that uses the permaculture principles (I've not gotten that far yet, so I don't know exactly how that will work, but it will be guided via video).
Obviously, being a free course, and only one month long, there's not going to be many details. However, after completing the first week's work, I can say that it is quite interesting.
The idea of using what you have, information that you can gather, and putting it all together to create a space that will work in harmony and successfully is quite enticing. Knowing how the land and environment wants to be as it is, taking that into account, and using it as best as you can - that sounds brilliant, really.
In one of the videos, it mentioned about city planning - they showed one city that is circular, with the people living in the middle, the jobs on the next-out ring, and then land for agriculture on the outskirts all around the city. That's quite smart, really. Or planning your housing locations so that it can be warmed in the winter, yet not scorching in the summer. I mean, really, that's just common sense - yet, I think a lot of city planning is more about how best to fit as much in as possible (at least that's how it looks most of the time!).
It also has the idea of making regenerative investments (a term straight from the course). It's compared to planting a fruit tree. You plant the tree, and you care for it, sure, but past that first large work investment and basic care, it will grow fruit for you each year, and as the tree grows it will produce more and more fruit each year.
This is in comparison against a generative investment (also straight from the course), which is compared to growing corn. You plant, you put in the work, you get your corn and you're done. If you want it again the next year, you have to put in all that work again.
But there's also a focus on making sure that whatever it is that you are doing isn't hurting your environment - you need that environment functioning as well as it can for it to work for you, after all. To not take more than your need, and if you do, return it, compost it, share it with others, whatever.
All in all, the course is promising to be interesting. And maybe will even help me better plan my dream garden. Because that's fun, right? And, of course, if you are interested in taking the course, I would suggest it (it's free!). It suggests 2 - 4 hours of work put into it each week, but all the resources are available at the start, so you could work it at your own timeline, and it's not graded or anything, so you aren't required to do the discussion questions if you don't want to (there's a badge-thing you get at the end if you do them, but I've no idea what that is).
Plus, all things considered, doesn't it make sense, anyway, to plant and build and grow in the ways that would give you the best results? Makes sense to me.
~ Havok
P.S. We've had birds living in our dryer vent. These birds had babies. We thought they were only in our one vent. But now there's a little baby on the ground hanging out in a different vent. I'm not sure if it fell out, but I've seen adult birds hanging out on the ground near that area, so hopefully they won't forget about the baby!
And, here's a photo, because cute little baby birds! It's all nestled in with the leaves, but you can see it's little beak open and it's little eyes! It's very skittish, as it should be, but I'm hopeful that it's parents will care for it and that it won't die from cold being on the ground. Or, that it can fly away soon!
P.P.S. And a video, because it's an awfully loud little bugger. It has since been found by adult birds, has been fed and everything, so now just hope it doesn't get lost again!
P.P.P.S. So, all of the above commotion for baby birds? This was Thursday afternoon of this week. I take a nap later in the afternoon Thursday, wake up, and the Mister tells me that the nonsense about the baby bird is sorted...he saw it out wandering around and he tried to feed it some bread but it wouldn't get close to him. Later, it was out wandering, was sitting like it was sleeping or something, only to have a larger bird swoop down and take it away. He says it was a hawk-like thing (though where these hawks are hanging out, I've no idea). So, this little baby bird may be no more.
There are, luckily, a ton of resources available to learn about this (online, of course), a lot of them for free. There are blogs run by homesteaders, books and ebooks about such living, and I've even had a perusal around a local farm supply type store (which had 6 week old bunnies, and they were so cute!), which had a million different kinds of feed for chickens, which was all very confusing!
Something else I found, and quite timely, was a one-month course put out through Oregon State University (the Beavers one; the Ducks are University of Oregon - which was quite a difficult thing to learn growing up, seeing as I had no interest in sports to have the easy way of keeping them straight!).
The course is called Intro to Permaculture Design, and I had no idea what that meant. But, it was recommended on Reddit, through the rabbit hole of the Internet that started on r/Homestead. The course description, however, says that "Permaculture design is a method of landscape planning that can be applied to anything" and that the principles "take into account such things as how indigenous people used the land," and can be used "from a home garden or a farm to a city block or entire village." Which, let's be honest, that sounds pretty darn cool, right?!
The course is free! And available to anyone, so long as you sign up! Enrollment is open still, even!
There are videos to watch, with tons of links for extended reading. The only real "work" you have to do is do some discussion questions, and then complete a basic plan of a selected location that uses the permaculture principles (I've not gotten that far yet, so I don't know exactly how that will work, but it will be guided via video).
Obviously, being a free course, and only one month long, there's not going to be many details. However, after completing the first week's work, I can say that it is quite interesting.
The idea of using what you have, information that you can gather, and putting it all together to create a space that will work in harmony and successfully is quite enticing. Knowing how the land and environment wants to be as it is, taking that into account, and using it as best as you can - that sounds brilliant, really.
In one of the videos, it mentioned about city planning - they showed one city that is circular, with the people living in the middle, the jobs on the next-out ring, and then land for agriculture on the outskirts all around the city. That's quite smart, really. Or planning your housing locations so that it can be warmed in the winter, yet not scorching in the summer. I mean, really, that's just common sense - yet, I think a lot of city planning is more about how best to fit as much in as possible (at least that's how it looks most of the time!).
It also has the idea of making regenerative investments (a term straight from the course). It's compared to planting a fruit tree. You plant the tree, and you care for it, sure, but past that first large work investment and basic care, it will grow fruit for you each year, and as the tree grows it will produce more and more fruit each year.
This is in comparison against a generative investment (also straight from the course), which is compared to growing corn. You plant, you put in the work, you get your corn and you're done. If you want it again the next year, you have to put in all that work again.
But there's also a focus on making sure that whatever it is that you are doing isn't hurting your environment - you need that environment functioning as well as it can for it to work for you, after all. To not take more than your need, and if you do, return it, compost it, share it with others, whatever.
All in all, the course is promising to be interesting. And maybe will even help me better plan my dream garden. Because that's fun, right? And, of course, if you are interested in taking the course, I would suggest it (it's free!). It suggests 2 - 4 hours of work put into it each week, but all the resources are available at the start, so you could work it at your own timeline, and it's not graded or anything, so you aren't required to do the discussion questions if you don't want to (there's a badge-thing you get at the end if you do them, but I've no idea what that is).
Plus, all things considered, doesn't it make sense, anyway, to plant and build and grow in the ways that would give you the best results? Makes sense to me.
~ Havok
P.S. We've had birds living in our dryer vent. These birds had babies. We thought they were only in our one vent. But now there's a little baby on the ground hanging out in a different vent. I'm not sure if it fell out, but I've seen adult birds hanging out on the ground near that area, so hopefully they won't forget about the baby!
And, here's a photo, because cute little baby birds! It's all nestled in with the leaves, but you can see it's little beak open and it's little eyes! It's very skittish, as it should be, but I'm hopeful that it's parents will care for it and that it won't die from cold being on the ground. Or, that it can fly away soon!
P.P.S. And a video, because it's an awfully loud little bugger. It has since been found by adult birds, has been fed and everything, so now just hope it doesn't get lost again!
P.P.P.S. So, all of the above commotion for baby birds? This was Thursday afternoon of this week. I take a nap later in the afternoon Thursday, wake up, and the Mister tells me that the nonsense about the baby bird is sorted...he saw it out wandering around and he tried to feed it some bread but it wouldn't get close to him. Later, it was out wandering, was sitting like it was sleeping or something, only to have a larger bird swoop down and take it away. He says it was a hawk-like thing (though where these hawks are hanging out, I've no idea). So, this little baby bird may be no more.
If you liked this post, check out these other posts!
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