Balance

Everything in moderation. Or at least that's what I've been lead to believe to be the "right way."
Except, how do you learn how much is too much...and how little is too little?

I haven't figured that out yet.
Instead, I'm more prone to fluttering between things, and hoping to find that "sweet spot" of getting a little bit of everything done all day...and failing.

There's not enough motivation to do that much stuff in one day! Not enough hours, not enough parts of the day to split up.

Or, is it really just going to boil down to motivation?
That's what I'm feeling is the answer.

For the past month, nothing has been going right (or so it seems). My priorities haven't been sticking, and nothing has been getting done. I can force myself to go out, but can't force myself to do dishes but once a week. I can nap at all hours of the day, but have to try and remember that dinner shouldn't be until 10pm.

And yet through all of that, I know there are plenty of things that I ought to be doing, that my time could be better spent doing, that I just can't get off the couch for. I should be doing x, y, and z, and yet all I've really managed to do for the past 5 days is watch far too many seasons of South Park.

Yet, because everything is so easily set aside, it makes me wonder if these "priorities" are actually that important to me. If I'm not making time for them, they can't be that important. If I'm able to forget about them for days at a time, it can't be that important.

But by that logic, the only thing that would be important to me is South Park, Instagram, sleep, and eyeliner, and journaling.  And I feel safe in saying that this isn't true.

So how do you (basically magically) pull yourself into balance?
Because I really do enjoy sleep and South Park, but I also enjoy having a clean kitchen and more than frozen pizza for dinner each day. I enjoy sleeping in my bed versus the couch, and I would rather be awake during daylight hours than all night. I would rather do daily scripture study than spend hours on Instagram and Facebook.
But, what is actually getting done. None of the things I want to be doing, obviously!

I know what's important to do, and the list is quite long.
That's why it requires balance. Because trying to shuffle everything unsuccessfully will lead to more weeks of getting nothing done (and days of knee and hip pain for lounging on the couch - that alone should be reason enough to fix it!).

I also know that doing everything all the time isn't going to happen - at least not for me, at this point in time. And I know that beating myself up over it isn't going to do anything beneficial.

Even just the balance of the call for doing and the worry of failure is hard!
And that's the craziest part of it all.

~Havok