And, if you are familiar with Instagram, you may be aware of the #ListersGottaList "challenge" of sorts - it's lists and journaling all in one, and I love the idea.
Except for a few things - which are the reasons why I never tried it.
One, it always seemed it was mostly for styling and short lists. Something to do in fifteen minutes, that was mostly about making it pretty. Nobody, that I saw, had a long list, and there was a lot of "fluff" besides the prompt responses.
Which is fine. For other people. Not for me. If I'm going to answer a question, you're going to get an answer. I enjoyed essays in high school, even those required for tests (which, luckily, never had to be long, but still), and I still write quite a bit now (hence blogging!). For myself, writing down one or two things (maybe even five) would never be enough. And if I somehow managed to only have a few, there would be an explanation for each thing. That's just how it works.
Two, I'm not a "stylized" kind of person. I like to try, but we all know I'm not good at it. It starts out well enough, sure, and then I think "MOAR STICKERSSSSS AND WASHIIIII" and things get out of hand. It looks like a five year old did it. While I normally embrace my inner five year old (as one should do), it doesn't seem to be the most...awesome...thing according to the rest of the world. If I were to be doing these lists as it is intended (even though, of course, it says they don't have to be decorated, we all know that's half the fun), it wouldn't be quite right in my "special" way (also, according to the rest of the world).
Three, myself. These lists are meant to be done daily. They're meant to be fun little things that you do and have a thing to look back on and all that jazz. But, me, I am not in that mind set every day (you may have noticed this if you've been here before). Try as I might, I cannot be enthused every day to do this listing thing, even if it really does only take fifteen minutes a day. And if I were to just skip the days that I didn't feel up to snuff, I wouldn't ever do it (as I would skip one day, then the next day convince myself I don't feel that great either or I would forget or something...and it wouldn't get done again for quite a while).
But, as of late, I haven't been journaling that much - as all my time has went to knitting, and what is there to write about knitting that isn't just added as a note to Ravelry (as one does). And I wanted to do something, and I figured doing this listing thing would be better than nothing. Plus an excuse to play with stickers and washi tape, as I hadn't been lately because of my five-year-old self and not wanting to make that mess.
So, I tried it out. And I still am.
The first few days went fine (I've also taken some prompts from an Instagram account that posts journal prompts, to supplement the #ListersGottaList ones). Then on the sixth day I ended up with "What I Hope to Accomplish in the Next 10 Years" and that wasn't as great of a list as I had hoped. It wasn't depressing, it was just...well, since I have no plans, it was a bit silly (though it did bring up a great idea that I have yet to explore, so we will see).
The next day was "My Phobias" and that was a "I'm feeling like junk" kind of day and my list was a bit intense.
It started out fine. as the first item was "spiders (eww)" and then "large crowds and being stuck in them (oh my goodness, no)" and then it moved on to...well, everything else. I didn't mean for it to take such a dark turn, and I realized it would directly after the first two, but decided to just go with it.
Who was going to read it but me ("I don't have to post them all to Instagram," I told myself), and who was going to want to read it anyway (seeing as how weird it was going to get. Plus, it would be helpful to get it all "out."
I filled up the page, had no room for any decoration but a colorful heart-in-a-circle sticker. And no, I will not share it with anyone - it's safe in my notebook, and that's where it shall stay.
But it helped. Because, one, it really was nice to just write out all those weird things. But mostly because it made it okay to not have to make sure every list would be "Instagram Acceptable." Some of them can be shared, sure, but they don't all need to make an appearance. Some of them are going to not be so happy - as I am not happy every day - and that is going to be okay.
Eventually, hopefully, more and more of the lists can be the happy kind. But I'm not going to spend my time pretending things are that way when they are not. It does no good.
~Havok
P.S. #ListersGottaList is the brainchild of Cori who goes by TheResetGirl on Instagram - not only does she take fantastic planner photos, she creates a ton of planner stickers and creates these lists for each month for free. The hashtag, while it can't "belong" to anyone (so to speak), it is of her creation and credit does need to be sent her way for what she has set up.
P.P.S. I already managed to miss a day, though. I was feeling too crummy to do much of anything, the day was rough, and the mental energy just wasn't there. I also figure this okay (also because it's something I've added to my daily checklist, so I will have a reminder daily to do it, so it won't be as easy to say "oh, well, not again today for x-reason").
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