Pond Water

...how can I explain how my brain feels the past week or so...
Think of a water fountain thing that you've had sitting on your porch for a while. The fountain-y bits don't really work any more, but you leave it up because it's pretty. The bottom fills with rain water, maybe some algae or scummy bits (and, in the summer, some bugs). Sure, when there are heavier rains, it will overflow, and when it's sunny, the water will evaporate some, but there's pretty much always the same water there. Just...being. There is no "current," there are no "ripples," it's...stagnant.

That's a good way of explaining how my head is feeling.

There is nothing going on, new or otherwise, just the same things on replay. Again and again.
There is nothing exciting, nothing to be passionate about.
Nothing that's needed to be dwelled upon, but not necessarily stopping the dwelling from going on - my mind dwells, no matter what "season" it's in.
Just...nothing.
Reminders of doing chores, reminders of not spending all day on YouTube, of going to do projects, of needing to be putting more effort into somethings, of needing to organize my space so I actually can put more effort into my projects.
And yet, it all flutters in, then flutters out just as quickly.

Nothing wants to stick, and nothing is standing out.
It's almost as if it's a type of writer's block, but a whole entire brain block. Maybe there's a word for it, but it's one that I don't know. It's not a "fog" type of situation, everything is functioning at normal capacity - but the juices aren't fresh, I suppose you could say.

It feels like I don't care about anything, and I'm really not sure if I do. So apathy could be a fitting word as well.
I want to have energy and be doing things and be excited by them and for them, but there just...isn't any charge there.

As it stands right now, I just want to go take a nap. Watch a movie, maybe. Find a snack.
Hunker down and just...be.

I understand the idea that you need to recharge your energy if you want to have more, not just hibernate and hope it will come back. However, that's just not on the agenda. I can't seem to care enough, only enough to be disappointed that it's gone.
I have been trying to force it, and it's just not working. So quasi-hibernate for a bit and have a rest and try to not think of it. Come back tomorrow and hope for something better.

That ought to work, right?

~Havok