Which is lovely advice. And, from what I understand, a very important skill.
But, how does one acquire this ability?
It's hard to find the line between appreciating what other people can do, and wishing that you could do that yourself.
And once you've crossed that line, it's a quick trip to the land of the never-will-I-evers.
It's not a nice place there. It's actually quite horrible.
It does horrible things to you.
You don't want to create.
You don't want to find any new ideas.
You don't want to try.
Don't want to even touch your supplies.
Don't even want to think about that part of your life.
So, you won't.
For too many days in a row, and end up disappointing yourself even further.
Because you know what you should be capable of, but weren't able to because you were too sad about what you thought you weren't capable of.
If that makes any sense.
It's just a vicious cycle.
The best way that I've found to break it is to just not pay attention to what anyone else is doing in the first place.
Except for the part about how in the land of the internets, you are forced to see what everyone else is doing. To put yourself out there, it's shoved in your face as to what everyone else is working on.
You want to belong to a certain type of group/category/type of work? You have to see what everyone else in that group is doing. It's not something you get to choose.
So, you try. And do alright.
Only to realize one day that you're still comparing. Still telling yourself that your work will never be like that, it's just not right, and doesn't fit in.
Which, at first, is fine.
But then you remember that the reason they are so successful at what they are doing is because what they are doing fits in.
And if you won't fit in...where do you belong?
And if you don't fit in, and you aren't finding the right kind of people (as finding people means looking at what everyone else is doing), what's the point of trying any more?
For yourself?
What's the point in that, if you still remember what your work never will be, as shown to you by the things you keep comparing yourself to.
Vicious cycle.
~Havok
P.S. Please excuse the ramblings. I'm currently stuck in this bit, and the way things work 'round here is that if it gets stuck, everything else gets swept to the wayside. My apologies.
No words of wisdom at all here I'm afraid, but much sympathy..... I have many talented friends who can do so many things well, and it is hard to not compare! With the internet side of things, I went on a complete break - closed my Facebook, un-subscribed from newsletters etc. Now if I want to catch up on something I have to make the effort to go to the sites, rather than having it in my face all the time. A lot better for me, as I only go online when I want to, see what sites I choose to see rather than having things chosen with links on Facebook etc.
ReplyDeleteI try to keep what I follow on Facebook to be minimal, and that's actually the one area of the internet that doesn't hurt in this fashion, oddly enough! My main issue is Instagram, actually, of all places. I have debated just checking it once a day, or cutting down my list of followers by about half, but I hate doing that sort of thing (just feels mean, in a way). But, probably needs to be done.
ReplyDeleteI do like the idea of having to search out the things, though, versus having them all sent to you. I can see how that could help a ton!
Thank you so much for stopping by! :)
I don't know if you watched the Oscars last night but one of the winners made me cry. He basically said, be weird and you will win. Since I'm a weirdo and always have been, I heard his words loudly. Ya, no one thing or piece of advice can make us feel better about ourselves but it was really nice to hear that this weird guy was just like me.
ReplyDeleteNo words of wisdom for you, just sharing how a fellow weirdo felt.
Take care, you are not alone in this.
Maureen
I did not watch the Oscars, but I am familiar with the sentiment. It was a while ago, and of course don't remember who said it, but something very similar, that being weird is quite alright.
ReplyDeleteWhich really is true. I would rather be who I am than who everyone else is - it's just a matter of seeing what else is going on and realizing that no matter how awesome the weirdness may be, it will still be "weird"...which can be depressing from time to time.
Thank you so much for sharing, though, it is always nice to be reminded that it is quite alright to be a bit "off" :)
I look to the internet for inspiration, not to compare myself against others. It will never end if you keep comparing because the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side of the fence. Be happy with yourself. Easier said than done though :-)
ReplyDeleteWell the comparisons are never intentional!
ReplyDeleteEntirely true, though, about the grass being greener! That's a good way of looking at it! Thank you for adding that bit, as I've forgotten that bit!