You Need Your OWN Affirmation

The past few days, I've taken to journaling more. Not that much has happened these past few days, but some days have more words than others in the first place. Plus, I've been making myself sit down with pen and paper - and that helps with the excess of words.

And with journaling more, there have been some more things come to mind.

For example, how even though I've been experimenting with time tracking, I'm not getting as much done as I ought to be. I am getting more done, but not enough and that's kind of a big deal. So, that's depressing.

But, journaling lets you think of things.
But, journaling while thinking of depressing things tends to make you think of more depressing things...and you see where this is going.

Except that's not actually where it went.

I ended up in a great place. Which is weird for me.
But I will not argue with the results, because they were just that fantastic.

The conclusion I came to was simple, and pretty obvious, but I managed to finally get it phrased in a way that works perfect for me.
Sometimes, no matter how much sense something makes, if it's not in the right words or frame of mind, it won't have as much weight.
So finally having this sentiment in the right colorway, if you will, is amazing. At least for this week. We will have to see how long it lasts.

Oh, you're wondering what it is? I'm kind of tempted to not share. Because it's so perfect, I want to sort of keep it to myself and giggle at it...look at it and be happy...hide it away to be my own little ray of sunshine...you get the idea.
But I'm not that mean. Not today, anyway.

No, I have no idea how this is the combination of words that I came to.
And no, I am not going to complain.

Because it is exactly what I have been needing.
And all that it stands for.

I'm really good at just staying in a rut. It's where I seem to be "comfortable." I'm a complainer, so always having something to complain about (which is true while in a rut) is where I gravitate. And I'm really good at feeling sorry for myself. And I'm really good at just getting frustrated at things and not doing anything about it.
I could go on.

But this is not okay. This is not a way to live and want to be. It's quite a depressing place, especially when big things to be legitimately depressed about come along.
And it's not okay to not be making progress because staying in the rut is just easy.

I cannot fathom living the rest of my life in this manner.

Something has got to give. Something has to be different.
It may not be much right now, and it may not be much in a month, but there has to be a stretch to move forward.
And I know I've thought this a million times before, and you can read things like this just about any website you go to.
But I've finally found the words that it rings strongest with. It finally feels right. The place we are in our lives feels right for it. The reasoning behind it is perfect.
The perfect recipe, if you will. I'm sold.

~Havok