Don't Believe That Thing You Just Told Yourself

I've a problem.
I cannot make any decisions for the next week (at least).

Does that sound weird?
Heck, it's my issue and it still sounds weird to me. My brain cannot be trusted, my emotions cannot be believed for 100% truth, and any ideas that I have should not be tested out.

Which is a weird place to be.
I used to not realize any of this until after the fact. I'm lucky that now I've learned to recognize when these things start up. But it's still unnerving to have to live in a headspace for a week or week and a half without being able to fully take advantage of anything that happens in there.

Nothing has to be discounted or forgotten about, but it has to at least simmer until the time has passed.
Sometimes, I forget this. Sometimes I make the mistake of thinking that this time it will be different, the things in my head are actually worth the effort. And every time I am wrong. The "great idea" gets set aside, no matter how awesome it was.

Except, it was never that awesome.
Or how amazing something is was, well, all pretend.
And that person isn't as amazing as you thought they were.

Those things you're getting so angry over? Won't matter soon enough. So it really makes no sense to be so worked up over it, but you can't help it.
That nagging feeling of this amazing thing you need to be doing? Don't start it, because as soon as this time is over, you won't want to touch it again and it will just depress you of the wasted energy and how it will never finish.
Any productivity that you had won't matter. It won't carry over, no matter how zealous you were during that time frame. It just doesn't.

It never does.
Nothing carries over, nothing makes sense after. Things will go back to normal.
You just have to live that week in a state of limbo. Hoping for the best, and trying to not, well, do much of anything.

This time, it's a bit more difficult. Every once in a while, it gets really rough. Much more intense. Everything in real life seems just, well, horrible. Everyone in real life is horrible. Everything that I have been doing is crap, everything I should be doing is crap. Cleaning is pretty much the only way to unwind (plus, it's productive). I want x, y, and z to happen, and none of it is feasible. None of it is even possible, for goodness sake. But, that's just more frustrating. So there's anger and there's hate and there's...a crazy jump of emotions.
Literally, in the span of an hour earlier today, I was on the verge of tears, and then was laughing very energetically. It can't be helped. That's how things go.

I've got another few days of this, and it shall (hopefully) pass. In the meantime, I will try and not do anything too drastic.

I make no promises.

~Havok

P.S. I can't be the only one, ya?