That is allegedly supposed to help someone calm down when things get to be just too much.
I've tried both of these tactics, together and separate, and neither of them have worked for me.
I've tried it while frustrated and angry, to focus on breathing, but I can't manage more than a few seconds - you know, when angry, your pulse rises, your breath gets quicker, and I just don't have the capacity to change my breathing that quickly!
I've tried deep breathing at night, with a guided breathing app on my phone. I've tried falling asleep to calming sounds (rain on a metal roof, or a fire, or ocean sounds). I've tried relaxing my body before bed (focus on your feet, then your legs, etc, until you get your whole body relaxed).
And none of it has worked for me, besides maybe a moment or two if it was being done "in the moment."
And sure, the stuff at night helped me fall asleep better, but I woke up the next day in my normal state. Which, to me, means it's not working.
And all the more detailed techniques for while you are anxious are, well, silly. I remember an anxiety attack I had at the beginning of this year that lasted the whole day, while I was still working full time. I couldn't take deep breaths, no matter how hard I tried. I sat and tried to calm myself at my lunch break at work, and I was just as distraught when I got back. My chest hurt, I had the shakes, and I just couldn't calm down, no matter what I tried. Driving home at the end of the day, my arm started to go numb and I thought for sure I was dying.
Obviously I didn't die. But, at the same time, it showed me that I am not quite equipped to handle these things on my own. Removing oneself from the situation works well, when that's an option - but most of the time it's not. Talking about it is alright, if you have the chance to do so. Deep breaths and counting are alright, if you're not too far into an attack.
It just doesn't seem to work!
One of my long-time friends deals with the same issues, and sent me a few articles about dealing with it.
The first is about distorted thinking - how easy it is to psych yourself into an anxiety attack. How its your own mind playing tricks on itself to think you're worse off than you really are.
A lot of these hit home for me, but it's the fact that I'm doing it to myself that's hard to get over. I'm aware that things aren't as bad as I make them out to be - its the matter of fixing that process that gets me flustered.
The second is about different ways to help yourself through your anxiety. The second tip in the list is accepting that you're anxious. In order to get over it, you have to realize you're even in that state in the first place (which is something I have trouble with). The third tip is to realize that you're tricking yourself, which goes along well with the first article.
It's a daily battle, easing the anxiousness out of my life.
It means I have to take time to go over things, think of how I'm affected by different things during the day, and what to do better to get over it or deal with it.
It means I have to be more aware of my reactions.
It means I have to somehow notice where my stress levels are (and where they should be) - something I'm horrible at.
I've been trying to work on this for years, with no success. I was hopeful, as a teenager, that I would grow out of it; that I would calm down as I got older. The reverse has happened, and I have more issues now that I ever did!
I don't want that to continue. So that means working on it, step by step. Bit of my life at a time.
It's a process, and it won't be fun, but its necessary.
What do you do to relax after a hectic day? Do you have any self-care tips or relaxing activities that melt away a rough time?
~ Havok
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